


Chains That Bind

by TheRamPaige



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Castle Oblivion, F/M, Game: Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories, Gen, Hollow Bastion, Manipulation, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:06:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 40,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26691907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRamPaige/pseuds/TheRamPaige
Summary: Things go to plan at Castle Oblivion, and Sora reunites with his dear friend Namine, but as their plans progress, it becomes apparent that she's messing with more than just memories. Hearts are fragile; the stronger they are, the harder they fall.
Relationships: Naminé & Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Riku Replica/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 23





	1. Locking into Place

Confusion and anger were some of the only things Sora had left. Those and Namine, and he found he would choose her every time.

He knew he had forgotten things, important things, that was the way of Castle Oblivion, and he knew he should be scared if anything of the blankness in his head, but no. The emptiness only made it easier to think about what mattered, and easier to see what nobody else could.

Donald and Goofy didn’t understand it, they hadn’t been there. She and him had been so close, he had promised to keep her safe, and then he had broken that promise. He couldn’t stand for it, and if they wouldn’t stand with him, then he would be better off alone. Better off with her.

He made his way forward, through the samey white rooms, up stairs, around corners, it felt like circles. He had started  ~~ daydreaming ~~ remembering a lot more in these empty areas a few floors ago, and the further he went the more often it happened. Before he knew it he was there again, back home with her, watching her draw him and the trees around them, building a  ~~ raft ~~ fort for them to play in, swimming in the-

A sharp pain in his nose ripped him away. He blinked and drew his hands away from his face, finding them slightly bloodied. Crap. He had smashed headlong into a pillar; the structure of this room was different than what he had grown used to, it was much larger, and more regal. There was actual furniture here as well, some white stone chairs and a matching table wearing the same rose design that haunted him everywhere here.

“Well would you look at that, you actually made it! I guess I’m losing some munny then huh?”

A voice quipped.

Sora whirled around to see Axel step from a dark corridor behind him, blocking the exit. He didn’t look poised to attack, his shoulders were lax and he wasn’t openly armed, but nonetheless Sora summoned his keyblade and scowled.

“What do you want now?”

Axel snorted derisively.

“Oh don’t be like that, I am actually just here to tell you you’re done now. Imagine that! I know.” 

Sora took a card from his pocket and shot a hunk of ice at him. Axel smirked in an amused and exasperated way as he sidestepped out of the way.

“Look I know you have no basis to trust me, well, really no basis on anything anymore, let’s be honest, but it’s true.”

A quiet whoosh came from the side, and the two of them turned to see Larxene step out from her own corridor, a cruel grin sitting in its usual place on her lips. On reflex Sora’s grip tightened at the sight of her.

“Speaking of honesty…” She snickered “...why don’t we bring out our leading lady, hm? After all, the little shrimp over here has been through so much without a reward.”

Sora flinched. They were going to bring out Namine. What would they demand for her return? He didn’t have anything to give except the desire to hurt two people in the room with him.

Another whoosh from the door to his back.

Make that three.

He stepped off to the side so he could have all of them in his view at the same time, darting his eyes around like a cornered animal.

The pink haired newcomer had a face he hadn’t seen yet, but the moment he spoke he recognised him. His voice was soft and smug, it sounded like he was lying to a child who didn’t know any better.

“Yes it’s time. Congratulations Sora, you’ve earned it.”

He raised his arms to gesture to the door he had appeared next to, the next, and from the way they’ve been acting, last room. 

Warily, Sora did nothing at first. Looking between the trio of smug expressions, racking his brain for options he knew weren’t there, he was floundering. The weight of his empty head was heavy without Donald and Goof-

“ _ Sora, it’s me. It’s not a trick, I’m in here. Come to me, and it will all make sense, I promise. _ ”

Namine.

He sprinted for the door, and the three nobodies stepped aside and let him.

As the doors flew open, a familiar white light obscured his vision, before giving way to his new surroundings. Another white room, with drawings covering the walls, most of which he didn’t understand, but many depicted him. There was another stone table with chairs around it, and then another smaller chair to the side, in which sat Namine.

She looked up at him with a strange expression, one of delight, but something else too that he couldn’t quite place. 

All of this was unimportant though, next to the fact that he was  _ here _ and she was  _ here _ .

He couldn’t help it as tears sprung to his eyes. He ran to her, letting the keyblade disintegrate into glitter in his hands.

“Namine! Oh Namine I missed you, I thought I’d never find you!” He sobbed “I’m sorry I broke our promise, I don’t know how I ever forgot you.”

She held his hands reverently, as if he was fragile. He supposed he was right now.

“It’s okay, everything is okay now.” She said softly, stroking his knuckles gently with her thumb. “None of this is your fault Sora, I forgive you.”

It was such a relief to hear her speak to him. I was so surreal to be seeing her at all, it felt like the first time. Through the euphoria though, the words of the broken promise rang through his head.  _ Protect Namine _ .

He took his hands out of her grip and scrubbed them roughly over his eyes, a look of determination settling over his features.

“We have to get out of here. I don’t know why these creeps were keeping you here, but I’m gonna get you home.”

She looked down at her lap with a sad smile, where her sketchbook and pencil were sitting. She took the pencil in her hand and started sketching nonchalantly, before looking back up to Sora.

“This is why I said I’d explain everything. Sora, not everything here is as it seems, you noticed that by now, right?.”


	2. Induction

He felt sure of Namine, every memory he had left said she could be trusted, but that didn’t change the fact that everything she said sounded like nonsense.

“This is my home now. The people here are going to help me with something, and I help them too. We’re kind of…” Her face scrunched up as she tried to think of a gentle way to describe it. “...like partners I guess, and now you’re here too.”

Sora was distraught. Did she really want to stay here? In these maddeningly plain rooms with the slimiest people he’s ever met?

“But everyone here is a huge jerk! All they’ve done since I’ve got here is trap me in rooms and occasionally show up to fight me, and they kept me away from you too!”

She didn’t seem bothered in the slightest, in fact, she had a faint look of mirth on her face, like he was joking around.

“This is what I mean, the events here can be seen through different lenses. What you saw and what you think maybe aren’t exactly true. Me and my… partners, needed to test you, to make sure you were strong enough to help us with our goals. That was why we needed you to journey through the castle.”

She gave him a quick smile before looking down to continue with her sketch.

“We helped you erase memories that were false to begin with. We need your help, as I said, and someone made it harder to obtain you by messing with the truth. I’m sorry it made things confusing for you.”

Confusing was an understatement, he felt as though the floor had fallen away beneath him. He could barely remember scraps of the past six months, and anything earlier had started becoming spotty five floors ago. How was that much time a lie? There was no way-

He was back with her on the islands, watching the sunset perched on a bent tree. Safety and truth. Namine.

He blinked himself out of the memory, and looked down at her, trying to decide what question he needed answered first.

“H...how? Who did this to me? Why? I just- what is going on?”

This hurt to think about.

She put down her sketchpad, she had finished the drawing. A sunset. She stood and took his hands again.

“I don’t know exactly who did it yet, but it was some powerful magic that will take some time to fully undo. As for why, it’s because you are instrumental in my partner’s goals,” She smirked a bit, a private little smile “...and mine too.”

“We need the powers of your key to overthrow an evil organization, they’re the ones who took me away from you, and they lord over my partners. We teamed up to get rid of them, but we need you to make it possible.”

It made sense, he supposed. This was a lot of trouble to go through for him though, when they could have just asked.

“I… of course I’ll help you!”

“I knew you would.”

With that she started leading him towards the door.

“Where are we going?”

“To meet my partners, for real this time.”

As they stepped out into the regal chamber, there was no white flash as they passed through, almost like it was a normal door in this place. The three nobodies were lounging at the table to the side, waiting for them.

The moment he caught Larxene’s eye her face fell in annoyance.

“Yeah, I’m out of here. Have fun.”

A dark corridor devoured her right in her chair, and she was gone.

The other two turned to face them, pleased. Axel was hunched in a comfortable slouch. The one with pink hair stood gracefully, and made his way over to them.

“Does he understand everything Namine?”

Namine shrunk a little as he approached, and something about his high and mighty demeanor made Sora’s blood boil. Before she could reply, he summoned his keyblade and stepped in front of her. Protect Namine.

The man’s eyebrows raised, but the same smug smile he wore didn’t falter. He did stop advancing though.

“I suppose not then, but he is at least a little up to speed, yes?”

She gingerly stepped around Sora and nodded. 

“He might need a little while to process everything before I fully get everything started,”

She said “but yes, I’ve told him and he believes me.”

She turned and cocked her head at him, looking for his input.

“Uh… yeah. I kind of know what’s going on.”

It felt strange to just talk to these people, they had seemed so monstrous before. Trusting them was an idea he almost laughed at. The man fixed his gaze on him.

“Fantastic. Axel, could you find him a place to rest up?”

Axel sighed and stood, stretching out his back before thrusting his hand out, summoning a dark corridor next to Sora, who flinched slightly at it’s sudden appearance.

“Yep. Alrighty little man, let's go get you a bed.”

“What? I’m not leaving Namine.”

He told himself it was because he wanted to protect her. Really he just didn’t want to be left without the one person he could remember.

“Relax, sheesh! A little clingy are we? You’ll see her again you know, but you’ve gotta get some shut eye, you look like death.”

He was about to protest again when he heard her call out.

“Please Sora, I’ll come see you as soon as I can, I promise.”

Axel stepped up next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Come on now.” He said.

Reluctantly, he allowed himself to be lead through the portal, but he kept his eyes on her the whole time.

“Okay.”

Then he was gone.

After they vanished, Marluxia spoke, his tone teetering on the edge of a laugh.

“You are really something, you know? What an incredible power to break people and have them still try and crawl to you.”

He said it like it was meant to be a jab, meant to insult her and make her guilty, but it was true; she held an incredible power, and it would get her everything she wanted. 

It’s hard to feel bad about that.


	3. A Quiet Moment

Sora wasn’t sure what he thought the corridor would be like, but he found now that he didn’t like it one bit. Axel’s grip on his shoulder was holding him steady, leading him along, and despite himself he was glad for it. The void around them felt like it was trying to peel him open and take whatever was inside. Wherever the wisps of darkness would brush his skin it felt like hundreds of cold bug legs crawling on him, and he shivered.

“We’re almost there, hang on.”

Axel reassured, feeling the boy shake.

“I guess you’re gonna need a coat soon too if you’re gonna travel with us. I'll bring you one later, then this won’t suck as much next time.”

He thrust out his hand again and a few feet ahead of them the darkness sloughed away, making another doorway out into the world. On instinct, Sora darted ahead, tumbling out onto the floor, grateful for once for the sterile white of the walls, since they were such a contrast to the horrible void. It took a few deep breaths before he was able to drag himself to his feet.

Axel stepped out after him, and the portal dispelled. He paced around slowly, taking stock of the room he had chosen.

“Yeah, there isn’t much in here, but I figured you wouldn’t really mind. There’s a bed there. You aren’t gonna need anything else, right?”

Sora just looked at him.

Axel waited a few seconds for a response, and when he realised he wasn’t going to get one, he shrugged and took his leave.

I took a little while for Sora to do anything. Without Namine there, without an anchor for his thoughts to zero in on, he found himself lethargic. Absently sifting in what was left of his memories was the only thing he really had the energy to do, so he ended up laying back on the bed and doing just that.

He tried to think of other people he knew. The first few that came to mind were Donald and Goofy, but even though he knew they were friends, he couldn’t remember doing anything with them except wandering the halls of the castle. They were nice to him, he knew he could trust them, even if they didn’t take Namine seriously. He wondered what they were up to now, if they were worried about him. Maybe he should’ve asked earlier.

Then he thought of Riku. All the other kids he had grown up with were faceless figures to him now, save for him, and Namine. He felt strangely about Riku. He liked him quite a bit, he knew that, and he remembered that he had come here to try and find him after he went missing, but there was also a weird sadness, a hurt that would pool in his chest. Something must have happened between them, that might explain why he had been so keen on fighting for no reason earlier. Maybe they could be friends again, if he could remember what he did wrong and apologize, then they could make some new memories. He would like that.

He didn’t know when he dozed off, or for how long. It was impossible to gauge time in this place with no windows or clocks, but it must have been a while since he actually felt rested.

He had been so focused on finding Namine that he hadn’t noticed how worn down he was before. There was only so much a cure spell could do without actually taking a minute to let it work, and after the corridor, his body had kind of given out.

Now though, his muscles were less sore, and the brightness of the walls was no longer giving him a headache. The grumpiness that had been weighing on him floor after floor was finally lessened. He sat up on the bed, and his eyes were immediately drawn to the one splash of colour in the room other than himself. Well, colour was a bit of an overstatement; it was a black coat sitting at the foot of the bed, the same kind everyone here wore. He took off his small jacket and threw the coat haphazardly around his shoulders, but didn’t zip it up. It was more comfortable than he would’ve thought. Apparently this would help if he was put through a corridor again, whenever that would be.

Sora wasn’t sure whether he should call for someone to come get him, or just wait it out. He wanted to see Namine again, to get some answers and make up for lost time, but he also didn’t want to bother her. She seemed like she had work to do before she could meet him, and who knew how long that would take. 

In the end he decided to just run around the room for some stimulation, as boring as that would be all by himself, but before he could start, something poked him in the side. It didn’t really hurt. Patting himself down he found that there was a small notebook in the pocket of the coat, with a sharp little pencil attached. Maybe they had left him something to do after all.

He wasn’t an artist, but it was fun to doodle little characters and creatures for a little while. He drew fish, and some attempts at some of the sillier looking heartless he had seen that day. Some little cartoons of himself and his friends soon followed; him, Namine and Riku hanging out on the beach. People were a lot harder to draw he found, he kept making the hands and feet much too big, the joints all looked like their bones were broken, and he accidentally drew Namine’s hair all wrong, it was too dark and too short. 

He tossed the pad aside and it bounced across the bed. That had been a fun small waste of time he supposed, but now he was bored and feeling antsy again. He sighed loudly and threw himself back on the pillows. He summoned his keyblade again, and started trying to bounce it off the high ceiling with strike raids, but before long a corridor ripped open in the corner and Larxene came storming out. In his surprise, his key almost hit him in the face on it’s way down.

“Will you shut up?! You think no one can hear you slamming that thing around in here?”

It was such a sudden outburst that he almost apologised on reflex. Almost. Instead he gave her an annoyed look as he sat up, pointedly not dismissing his weapon.

“Well there wasn’t much else to do. Do I have to stay in here or can I leave?”

She looked disgusted with him.

“I don’t care what you do, I’m not your babysitter, I had enough of that back home. Go whine to Axel if you’re bored.”

She turned around with a huff and started to leave.

“Maybe I would if I knew how. There’s no door in here, and I can’t teleport around like you guys.” Sora piped up. 

She turned again and glowered at him, before vanishing back into the darkness. He figured she had just left him to his own devices again, and he impishly considered bouncing the keyblade around the room again just for the fun of it, when another corridor tore its way into the air, off in the other corner.

Axel stepped halfway out of it, and gestured for Sora to follow him.

“I kinda forgot to check on you, sorry, but I think Marluxia’s ready now.”

A strange expression crossed his face as he remembered something.

“Oh, and Namine too. I guess you probably care more about that part, huh?”

“I just want to know what I’m supposed to be doing is all, but I would like to see her again.”

Sora admitted, sliding off the bed and wrapping the coat further around his torso.

Axel smiled, not smirked, at him. It felt… weird. Familiar and alien at the same time.

“They’ve got it all figured out now, so you should be getting the full rundown this time.”

“Well that’s good then.”

Sora stepped cautiously into the darkness, but he could instantly tell the difference the coat made. The shadows slid off him like rain off a duck, and he couldn’t feel their prodding gaze on his skin. With that thought, he guiltily remembered his earlier sleepy musings as they started to walk through the void.

“Oh yeah, Axel? Are Donald and Goofy okay? I left them a while ago, and I haven’t seen them since.”

Axel’s face fell back into an unreadable expression.

“I think they sent somebody to check on them a while ago, but our main concern was you. I’ll ask.”

“...Thanks.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Leftovers

Riku stalked the white rooms like a predator, Soul Eater buzzing in his hand, longing for action.

It wasn’t pleasant, to be treated like an animal, like a pet, but at the very least it made him focus on singular tasks rather than the yawning chasm of existential questions that threatened to swallow him whole. He had been told to find Sora’s companions, and get rid of them, so that was what he would do.

He had been receiving orders more often from Axel, and sometimes Larxene too, to his displeasure, which was strange and more than a little annoying after being left to his own devices for so long. He didn’t want to chase after Sora’s little friends, they hardly did anything; they would probably just get lost in here forever anyway if everyone just left them alone, but no, they decided he had to sweep up their barely-there mess.

He sighed to himself as he started to make his way up a spiralling staircase. There were only so many places they could be, he had been told they were with Sora all the way up to the top floor, and since they weren’t given any memory cards of their own, and they didn’t use corridors, it wasn’t like they could really leave this group of looping rooms they were stuck in. Like rats in a trap. The power over them he felt was comforting until he thought about it too much. Once they were gone, what would he be left to do? 

Try as he might to banish the questions to a violent haze, they prodded at him. Would he be taken with them? They hardly treated him like a person, more like a tool, Larxene said as much, and bluntly. Even Namine regarded him with reserved passive expressions, and seemed uncomfortable speaking to him, and she was meant to be his friend. Was that even what he wanted? To toddle after them like a sad puppy? Why was he even here, with these people he despised, with only confusing memories of Namine to guide him? Why was there another him? Why did that thought hurt most of all?

Silencing his thoughts with an anguished grunt, he threw himself through the white door in front of him, bruising his arms on the heavy stone, desperate for distraction. Distraction he found.

Donald was pacing across the floor, a sour downward curve to his beak. His feet slapped loudly against the flooring, and he spotted him almost immediately, stopping in his tracks. Goofy had been sleeping, hunched over in one of the corners before being startled awake by Riku’s entrance. As soon as he was conscious he looked scared.

“You back for more huh?” The duck squawked.

“Bring it on!”

He brandished his wand, even though he knew it wouldn’t do anything now that Sora had left them. Goofy ran to back him up with his shield, though he didn’t even bother to put on a brave face like his comrade. That would be slightly more effective for them, but it wasn’t like it would be an obstacle.

He raised Soul Eater above the back of his head, aiming it’s sharp tip straight at them. He held his other arm out before him, in an almost polite gesture, like the battle they were going to lose was an option. He forced a callous smile on his face. There wasn’t going to be any satisfaction here, but he knew deep down that this was maybe his last chance to feel powerful, so he would milk it for all that it was worth.

“Oh I will.” He sneered

He darted at them with a swift upward strike, letting strings of darkness drip from his blade. Both of them dodged backwards, but before they could recover he was on them again; slashing back and forth in practiced patterns. Goofy’s shield took the brunt of it, defence was his strong suit, but he could hear when they got nicked. A slip here, a slice there, before long it was evident they were straining, he could see the dog’s arms shaking with effort.

So it would end quickly. He had hoped they’d prove him wrong, let him live a little before… whatever would come next. He backed off momentarily to pull off a finish. Donald suddenly ran out from behind Goofy, screaming in rage, in an attempt to actually get a hit in before it ended. He only made it halfway to Riku before he vanished. 

They didn’t know what to expect, but it wouldn’t have helped if they had. In a flash of darkness, he appeared behind Goofy, flying out of a portal like a bullet. He struck him easily, but he didn’t wait around. Again he vanished and shot across the room, ramming through both of them this time. He repeated this again, and again, and again, until both of them were crumpled battered heaps on the floor. They had barely a shred of life left, and he raised his sword one final time to snuff it out. Was this his finale? His last hurrah?

He swung lazily, it wouldn’t require much effort.

He was flung backwards out of nowhere in a flurry of dancing flames.

His sword clattered to the floor as he staggered, his back striking the wall behind him hard, knocking the wind out of him. In his shock, it was hard to process what had happened, but he managed to lift his head high enough to see Axel’s explosion of red hair.

“Wh… what was… that for..?” He coughed.

“You… told me… to kill them.”

The gasping was embarrassing, but he couldn’t help it.

Axel looked down at him with an expression that could almost be called pity, idly spinning his chakrams. He made no move to help Riku up, but he cast a weak cure spell on the unconscious forms of his enemies, before banishing his weapons and picking each of them up under his arms.

“There was a change of plans. I guess the killing was kind of implied, but Marly just wanted them out of the picture for now. Apparently Sora doesn’t do so well if we start taking out his friends, even if he can’t really remember them.”

A corridor appeared behind him, and he turned to leave.

“You can just do whatever you were doing before with Riku. We’ll call if we need you.”

With that he was gone.

He didn’t want to cry, but he didn’t really get to do what he wanted.

_ He _ was Riku, not that impostor that bumbled his way through the halls. He was stronger. He was faster. He was better.

So why wasn’t it true? He bit his lip hard. He could feel it in the back of his mind; one of the few things he knew were true; that he was a fake, a copy. It was fuzzy, like everything he thought he remembered. He was aware that the people here could mess with his head, that had become obvious in the way they spoke about him, and they were doing it to Sora, but even they hadn’t been able to scrub that ugly, horrible fact from his mind, from his heart.

That Riku could think straight, he didn’t wonder who he was or why.

That Riku was confident, he didn’t let himself be toyed with like a puppet.

That Riku was real, and try as he might, he wasn’t.


	5. Aftershocks

Meeting with everyone felt wrong, more so than he had anticipated. It brought about deja vu that made no sense; he had never in his life experienced events like this before, not even a little bit, not even in his dreams. Being with Namine made him feel a little better, but in such a strange new set of circumstances he found himself longing for something familiar. Homesickness. For some reason her presence just didn’t scratch that itch as completely as it should’ve.

Sora sat in one of many large stone chairs that had been arranged in a circle around a table, in a small room with a high ceiling. Namine sat to his immediate left, sketching, and a few chairs away on the right sat Axel. Larxene, and the other man Axel had called Marluxia sat opposite to him. Why were there so many empty chairs? Were they waiting for someone else? He hoped for Riku, maybe even Donald and Goofy?

Apparently not, he gathered, as Marluxia cleared his throat, getting the attention of the others.

“Now then, we have to discuss what we plan to do next. Sora is here now, so we have that covered...”

His eyes locked Sora’s.

“...but it seems we still have some loose ends to tie up before we move on to the next phase. Sora, you know a condensed version of what you’re here for, but you have questions, yes?”

Where to begin?

“I uh… yeah. I know I’m supposed to help you guys stop someone, but I don’t really know how… or why? All I know is that he was mean to you. Why do you need the keyblade to do it?”

That felt like a good start.

“Why did you take away my memories?”

Marluxia had taken his questions calmly, but the corners of his lips twitched upwards slightly at that one. His tone remained even.

“Well, the reason we need you and your powers specifically, is because your key is a particularly powerful weapon, one of the only types in existence that can harm beings like our enemies. Beings like us.” 

He held his arms aloft, as if presenting all the other people in the room. Sora looked at them blankly, not understanding.

“...Like what?”

“Nobodies. You see, we aren’t people as you would traditionally think of them. We are what remains when someone’s heart is removed, either by a keyblade or heartless. The heart is a person’s essence, so when it is taken away, the body is left as a blank slate. At least at first.”

Something distant in him panged with sorrow at the thought of a body with no heart. Who could steal something so precious? It hurt to know Namine had to face that alone. The others too; maybe he had misjudged them, if he had lost his heart he’d do anything to get it back, he could understand they’d do the same.

Marluxia paused, waiting to see if he was following. Sora nodded. The idea was no more fantastical than that of the heartless, he supposed.

“Nobodies like us however, managed to scrape together an identity again, fledgling hearts. This was a threat to Xemnas, the leader of Organization Xiii, a group of nobodies who work under him. He used our longing for hearts to keep us in line, so he seeks to eliminate us before the others learn the truth. He had hoped you would do it for him by forcing us in here with you, but evidently that backfired.”

He smiled, an angry flame in his eyes.

“That is where you come in. Your strength of heart and your keyblade are irreplaceable assets if we want to succeed in beating him to the punch.”

Once again he looked at him expectantly, awaiting a response.

“Alright… so you need my strength to stop someone from controlling nobodies; Xemnas. I get that, but why did you have to erase all my memories? Namine said somebody put fake ones in my head that she had to get rid of, but how, and why? And where are my real memories?”

Marluxia didn’t immediately answer like he had been doing. Instead he glanced at Namine and nodded his head slightly, passing the table’s attention to her.

She looked like she was trying to hide that she was nervous, and she wasn’t doing a very good job. Her voice trembled slightly as she started to speak. 

“Your memories- the real ones anyway, will take time for me to fully put back together, but it will be finished at some point, I promise.”

Sora wondered what she could possibly be worried about, maybe Xemnas. He may not know who that is yet, but he would keep her safe. She had no reason to be scared.

“As for why this whole mess had to happen… that hasn’t really been sorted out. Xemnas took me away from the islands a long while ago, and that was when we think the memories started to be altered, since only now you remembered I existed. I was scrubbed from everyone’s mind, but we think that somebody picked up where he left off once you obtained the keyblade, to try and use you.”

That made sense. Did it? He trusted Namine, but it all sounded disjointed. Something deep inside him was knotting up his stomach. Something was wrong. He pushed the feelings down.

“Okay… I guess I might remember more useful things as we go along, as I am I think I’m gonna be confused no matter what, but I get it more now, Thanks. I only have one more question.”

Namine resumed drawing in the pad on her lap, relieved, and Marluxia took back control of the conversation.

“Perfect. What else do you need to know?”

“What happened to Donald and Goofy? And Riku too, he seemed really angry earli- AH!!”

Before he could finish, the roiling uncomfortable feeling surged it’s way back to his heart, far more intensely than before. It felt like magma was filling his lungs, he couldn’t hold himself up anymore. He heard the sounds of panic around him, yelling and shuffling and chairs scraping the ground. What was happening?!

Someone grabbed his hand, took his face in their hands, trying to get his attention, but he couldn’t hear it over the sounds of hearts pounding in his ears. The faint tingling of a cure spell brushed over his skin, but it did nothing. He felt so weak, hopeless, when had he started crying? It was so hard to breathe, so hard to… stay… awake…

Sora slumped back on the chair, Namine grasping desperately onto him, trying to shake him back to life. She didn’t understand.

“You little witch! You broke him!” Larxene accused.

Axel cast another cure, distress mounting in him, cutting into her. Marluxia’s eyes were wide, fury bubbling to the surface. They had all worked too hard, for too long, to lose it. She would not survive their rage if they failed.

“No no, there’s no way this was me, I was so careful!”

She wished she believed herself. She could feel him fading under her fingers. There was only one way to know.

Out of options, she reached out to his heart, risky as it was while he was unstable.

Almost immediately she saw what was wrong. The connections to others that Sora forged took the form of strands that would branch off of his heart into the void. They varied in size and colour, and the larger and brighter they were, the more he drew from them for strength.

She had found that the more he lost memories, the more he relied on these connections, they remained regardless of her meddling, unbreakable.

Two of the largest strands were  _ mangled _ .

One green, one blue.

She ripped herself out from his heart, and whirled around to the others.

“What did you do to the other two?!” She screamed.

“If they die we lose him!”

Axel was gone before anything else could be said.


	6. An Incorrect Picture

Sora would recover at the same rate that his friends did, which left Namine with plenty of time to work.

After making sure the two of them would recover safely off in a room somewhere, the nobodies had reconvened to make sure nothing this careless would affect Sora again. Namine had told them about how he depended on the bonds more than ever for his strength, even more so than she had thought originally, since his heart was still very much in a transitional state from his old reality to the new one she was constructing around him. In order to make sure everything went smoothly, they would have to make sure not to damage any more bonds, because breaking them would be catastrophic.

This made things difficult.

The people bonded to Sora are the ones that will try to get him back, by force if necessary, which leaves them in a stalemate in any battle. So the only solution they could think of was to erase the memories of all of these people from Sora’s heart, and make sure that anybody who was connected to him would forget about him too. They wouldn’t fight if they didn’t remember what they were fighting for.

The only problem was that now, the only thing allowing him to keep his power was these bonds, and if both parties forgot each other rather than just him, their connections would slowly wither to nothing over time.

A complicated puzzle to be sure, but it was nothing she couldn’t fix. She was good at fixing.

  
  


Sora would just have to form a new bond, she reasoned.

A new bond with  _ her, _ and it would be so strong that he would level mountains for her.

  
  


Her new heart practically vibrated at the prospect. It was hard to contain the glee she felt, even as the others had looked at her with a mix of disgust and discomfort. Who would’ve thought that their little pet witch’s desires would be the key to their grand coup?

Certainly not her, but it was nice to be needed.

It was all she needed; to be needed, and wanted, just as fiercely as the light in her chest wanted him to want her. Intoxicating circles of love.

So Namine worked, drawing after drawing until they littered the floor around his bed in piles, and then some more. She would scratch herself into his world with these colours, and it would be beautiful.

Drawing was a simple skill, it was only a matter of practice, and a bit of creativity. Memories were the same. It was arduous, learning the rules of what she could and couldn’t do, how to iron out contradictions or stray lines, making sure that everything flowed smoothly, but it was also captivating and fulfilling in a way she wouldn’t trade for anything. This was her art, she supposed, her labour of love for the sake of beauty.

The best part was that this picture was living and breathing, and real, and  _ hers _ . She stopped sketching and drew her clenched hands up to her chest, feeling her heart burn brightly.

It was getting distracting to think about.

She wondered how it would actually be to just exist with him, once her partnership with the others had reached its end. She had thought about it countless times before in daydreams; just the two of them, making memories together rather than just her on her own. It was great fun to fantasise about, but now it was so close to being a reality that she didn’t fully know how it would feel to experience it. Technically she could make him whatever she wanted with enough time, but most of the appeal of having him was that he was his own person still, otherwise she would’ve been content to spend her days with the Riku puppet she had experimented with before.

Would she be disappointed? Even if she wasn’t, what would she even want beyond that? Was it possible to remain content forever on one desire alone? She knew that as a nobody, her heart had come from desire, much like a baby’s when it came into the world. The others desired independence, freedom, power, she wanted companionship, with Sora specifically she found for some reason. If that desire was fulfilled and she couldn’t come up with another to replace it, would her heart continue to exist? Or would she fall back into the blurry slump that was a nobody’s life?

She blinked and looked down at him, sleeping peacefully, in dreams she made. She felt her shoulders relax, and her fists fell slack. She couldn’t help a small smile creeping onto her face.

No. Now that she had a heart, she would keep it, and hold it close to the one she loved. He would never let anything happen to her anyway, their promise would ring true in his head forever.

To her own surprise, she found herself yawning. She had been at this for a long time it seemed, at least a few hours straight of concentration, and she could feel the creeping soreness of exhaustion sliding up the backs of her eyes. It was time to call it a day, he needed to rest up anyway.

Delicately, she slid herself off the bed, and began quietly gathering all the stray papers that littered the floor. As she picked up the last few, she noticed something she hadn’t expected to see for a while. Slightly crumpled on the bottom corner of the bed, was one of her small sketch pads. She was surprised to see it’s pages already used, the plan was to use this in Sora’s rehabilitation, but apparently he’d gone and started early.

Despite her tiredness, curiosity won out, and she set her stack of drawings down to leaf through it. Most of the drawings were small and meaningless, which she supposed she expected, just animals or messy renditions of heartless. She giggled softly at a few of the rougher looking ones. None of them held any connections to memories, or if they did they were too weak to be significant, so she couldn’t really use them. Still, they were cute to browse through.

Until she came to the last one.

That one made her heart’s joyful buzzing freeze to ice.

It was a sloppy, unskilled doodle of three people on a beach.

One was Sora, one was Riku.

None of them were her.

Her tiredness cowered in the back of her mind as calm hatred replaced it. It might be a little early, but she didn’t need to wait.

It appears he had made a mistake in this drawing, but not to worry, she could fix it.

She was good at fixing things.

She took a small sketchbook from a bag at her hip, identical to the Sora’s in every way, down to every stroke of pencil that muddied the pages. She flipped to the incorrect picture, and did one final piece of work before turning in for the night.


	7. Departure

The first thing Sora noticed as he woke up, was that he felt great. 

It was hard to really think of why, specific thoughts were difficult this early in the morning, but he found himself drifting back to Namine. He hoped they could hang out today. He had hoped the same thing yesterday, but after the meeting he had just been too tired to do much of anything other than sleep.

Whatever, there would always be more days, and it wasn’t like he could complain about being allowed to laze around. With Xemnas around to take care of it wasn't like he’d get much down time for a while.

His mood was soured the slightest bit when he remembered that he couldn’t just start his day; he had to wait for someone to come get him. Maybe he should’ve asked about a different room yesterday, or maybe somebody could even teach him how to make corridors. The latter he wasn’t as sure he was ready for though, so he hoped they would just give him a regular room. Were there any regular rooms here? He wondered. The rooms he had passed through on his way to the top had connected in nonsensical ways, so maybe that just wasn’t an option. Oh well, they’d figure something out.

He finally dragged himself out of bed, in a comfortable daze. The room was still devoid of anything in the ways of entertainment, so once again he ended up just throwing his body around, sometimes his keyblade too. Luckily, he didn’t have to wait for nearly as long this time before somebody noticed, and double luckily, the one who came to get him wasn’t Larxene. Instead, a different blonde head popped it’s way out from the portal that appeared in the corner, smiling sweetly. She wore a coat like his over her white dress, and a blue bookbag hung off her shoulder.

His eyes lit up.

“Namine! How are you?”

She grinned.

“I’m good, did you sleep well? You seemed really worn out yesterday.”

“Yeah I did, like a rock. I think that’s some of the best sleep I’ve had for a while, it was nice.”

“Oh that’s great! It’s good you’re rested, we’ve got a bigger day ahead of us today you know.”

He perked up a bit more.

“Oh? What’s going on? Are we going to stop Xemnas?”

She burst out laughing, much to his confusion. Wasn’t that the whole point of him being here? Why not just go get it done?

“Haha… no. We need a bit more time to prepare, which includes you, you know. All we’re doing for now is moving somewhere new to get ready.”

He couldn’t help a small pout crossing his face. He had the keyblade, and if anything he was stronger since the castle’s maze of nonsense rooms had been training him for… well who knows how long? He had been strong beforehand too probably, right? Not to mention they had Axel and Larxene, who were formidable fighters, and Marluxia who seemed to be in charge of them, so he must be really something. Weren’t they ready?

Her expression softened a bit in sympathy and she made her way over to him, taking his hand in hers. Her eyes were beautiful, even with bags shadowing them.

“I know you want to help, and believe me, you already are, but Xemnas isn’t just some heartless we can stomp out, he knows what he’s doing. Besides, you and me need more time to sort out your memories too, to make sure your strength is at its peak. We’ll get there, but for now we’re moving someplace safe to make sure everything is perfect before we act.”

He scratched at the back of his head with his free hand, and gave her a smile. She started leading him back to the corridor, pulling the coat she wore tighter over herself in preparation, Sora did the same before they entered the dark hallways.

“Alright, I guess you make a good point. I just don’t like sitting around is all.” He conceded.

“Well it’s not like you’ll be doing nothing, I know the others have their own plans to whip you into shape, and I’m not letting you slack off either. Lazybum.” She teased, testing the waters.

“Hey! I just said I don’t- oh nevermind.”

He huffed indignantly, before he took on mischievously determined expression. 

“Just you wait, Xemnas won’t know what hit him! I’ll take him down no problem.”

He pumped his fist in the air.

Seamless. Her smile widened, and she interlaced her fingers with his, nearing the exit to the corridor. 

“I know you will.”

They stepped out into the same regal white chamber from earlier. Larxene lounged against the side of a pillar. Her gloves were clutched in her one hand as she picked at her nails. A couple of large lumpy duffel bags sat at her feet. She seemed to be in the middle of a conversation with Marluxia, but it abruptly ended when they arrived.

Obviously she noticed them, her features withered from a smirk to a scowl, but other than that she ignored them in favour of continuing to work at her hands. Marluxia was the opposite, he welcomed them over to the table he sat at, a pleased smirk on his lips.

“So, are you two ready to leave? We won’t be coming back here once we’re gone, so don’t leave anything behind.”

Namine nodded at Sora’s side, and he couldn’t really think of anything else he needed. He probably hadn’t come to the castle with belongings, right? He stopped to think about it. It was hard to say, but he reasoned that if it was important, he’d remember it.

“Yeah, I think I’m good.”

He replied.

Marluxia seemed satisfied, and he stood.

“Well if you aren’t missing anything then I’d say we can go.”

Sora blinked, confused. They weren’t missing something, but somebody certainly wasn’t here.

“Where’s Axel?” He blurted.

Marluxia stopped. 

“Oh that’s right, you wouldn’t know. Axel is a double agent. Xemnas still thinks he’s loyal to him, so he’s checking in and giving reports about how we all were destroyed here by you, so that he won’t expect an attack later.”

Something in Sora wilted slightly. While he didn’t know these people well yet, a part of him had liked Axel the most out of the three of them. 

As if he could read his thoughts, Marluxia reassured him.

“He is going to come join us again soon though, under the guise of completing missions.”

Larxene snorted.

“If he doesn’t get caught first. You wouldn’t catch me walking back into that death trap, Xemnas isn’t an idiot.”

“He’s kept it up this long, I would hope he’s perfected his poker face by now.”

He countered,annoyance falling over his features.

“He can handle himself, don’t spread doubt just for the sake of it.”

She rolled her eyes.

“I’ll say what I want, especially if it’s true.”

An unseen look of warning was shot her way. Eyeing the smaller two in the room, she shoved her hands back into her gloves and sighed.

“Can we go now? I’m tired of waiting around.”

She wasn’t dignified with a verbal response, but Marluxia held both hands out in front of him and a much larger corridor appeared in front of them, much deeper and darker than the ones Sora had seen before; they seemed to stretch on for miles. They entered in a group, but the two of them ended up straying further to the back as they walked along through the void.

Hand in hand with Namine, nerves and excitement, a whole mess of emotions he couldn’t place swirling in his gut. He couldn’t help but smile.

It felt like new beginnings, and he couldn’t think of anything to miss.


	8. The Taste of Air

Seeing the sky was breathtaking, everything else fell away into the background.

Melting blues and violets were spotted with fluffy white clouds, their edges glowing gold in the light of the setting sun. It was almost painful to see after so long without it. Feeling a breeze brush over them was jarring, so refreshing. He couldn’t help but breathe it all in. It was a far cry from the islands, but it was all he needed.

Sora hadn’t thought about it; he literally couldn’t remember the last time he had been outside. That was… awful. On instinct alone, he took off running, relishing in the feeling of air roaring in his ears. They had stepped out of the corridor onto a kind of terrace walled in with parapets, so there wasn’t really anywhere to go, but his heart still sang at the sense of freedom it gave, starved for too long. He jumped up onto a piece of rubble, looking out at everything.

Above him a huge castle speared into the clouds, hued in dark purples and browns and lined with iron. It reminded him of an old wood stove, with the way pipes snaked upwards and through the floors, and how the jagged bars over the windows made stripes in the light streaming through. A few straggly breezeways connected the towers in crooked lines.

It was certainly imposing, and he wouldn’t call it pretty, but it was impressive nonetheless; though he was slightly concerned at the huge heartless emblem stamped on the main tower.

“Sora! Come back, you can admire things later.”

Marluxia called.

Reluctantly, he dawdled back over to the group. Immediately some bags were thrust into his arms by Larxene, before they started making their way inside.

“This will be a new fortress for us to prepare ourselves in. It shouldn’t attract much attention from our enemies, but it isn’t exactly a safe place either. Don’t get too comfortable until we’ve swept it through.” He continued.

Sora nodded despite the fact Marluxia’s back was to him. He was more interested in exploring. Every glimpse he caught out of the small windows and holes in the walls was another idea that rocketed through his head. Where would he even go first? Was it really that dangerous, or did they just want him to stay close? It smelled kinda bad in here, like wet dirt mixed with ashes, but that made sense, there probably wasn’t a janitor around. A hand clasped his, which drew him out of his head, at least a little bit.

He turned to see Namine, walking meekly at his side. She didn’t look quite as excited as he felt, but he could see her eyes flicking between the walls too as she looked at him, antsy; with a tight lipped smile.

He almost yelped as he remembered; that was right! It would be even better since she was here to look around with him, just like back home! He grinned at her, and she returned it. This would be fun! He missed fun.

Ahead of them somebody cleared their throat very audibly, and he caught a side eye from Marluxia. Oops.

“You heard me right? There are more heartless here than you would find in most other places. Steer clear of them, avoid destroying them if you can; their shadows are what keep this place hidden, understood?”

He nodded again, but this time it went more appreciated.

The halls culminated in a huge open circular central room, with glassless skylights in a ring around the edges of the ceiling. The floor was cracked grey and purple stone, and it was drawn up into uneven and janky looking staircases that wound upwards towards the towers at openings in the dark brown walls. Another heartless emblem stained the ground in the center of it all, an ugly mosaic under their feet. There was a dilapidated stone table off to the side where they ended up setting everything down, before fully converging again into a group in the middle.

Marluxia spoke up again, ever the leader on their little journey. It reminded Sora of the field trips in school in a funny way, and he bit back his laugh as best he could to pay attention.

“Alright. This first night we’re just going to set everything up and get things organized for the next few months. Everybody needs a room with a place to sleep, and all of our important belongings need to be secured somewhere.”

He pointed to each of them.

“Namine, you take Sora to find an intact room, and find one of your own too. There are bedrolls over there. Larxene, you and I are going to find someplace for storage.”

Larxene glared at him. 

“Really? I’m not just some dusk you can order around.”

His expression hardened into a cold sarcastic smile.

“That could be arranged.”

She huffed and turned on her heel, towards the bags. He followed.

Namine suddenly took Sora’s arm, and he saw that she had gone and grabbed a few bundles of blankets from the luggage pile. She handed him a thick blue one before starting to jog towards one of the smaller staircase openings, dragging him along.

“Let’s go, I think there’s a tower with a balcony in it, and I want to make sure we get it first!”

Together their rushing ended up devolving into racing; darting breathlessly through the winding brown halls, in and out of rooms to find the perfect one. A friendly competition. Most of the rooms were utterly trashed, empty save for rubble, or outright collapsing, but there were a few gems too; many had neat and expensive looking furniture, dusty as it was. None of these were their goal though for now, and Sora had started to fear his legs would give out when they finally arrived.

She had been right; this room had a large opening on the side with a railed platform to stand on, but it would be a stretch to call it a balcony. Other than that there were a couple of dirty chairs off to the side, and a small couch with a table in front of it. There was also a small warped fireplace embedded in the far wall between all the seating. Ragged purple rugs were thrown haphazardly across the stone floor.

Legs burning and shaking with exertion, he let himself topple over onto his bundle of blankets, giggling as he caught his breath. Namine flopped onto her backside a foot ahead of him. They took a few seconds without saying anything, content to just enjoy the moment and catch their breaths. Namine spoke up first.

“...So, is this one okay?” She asked.

“Oh yeah, this is the coolest! It feels like we’re royalty or something, or.... maybe more like wizards, kings probably don’t lay on the floor.”

“And wizards do?”

“Hey I don’t know, maybe it’s extra magical down there or something.”

She rolled over to face him, violet eyes shining.

“I’ll say.”

He didn’t know what to say to that. Luckily she didn’t make him come up with anything.

“A little chilly though, since we’re so high up.” She remarked, sitting up and picking up her bundle to unroll it, before wrapping it around her shoulders.

It was true, the coat he wore was plenty warm, but the wind whipping in through the window was cold, especially since he was damp from sweating. He followed her lead, wrapping himself in his bedrolls. Eventually they dragged themselves off the floor and up onto the sofa, since it was further out of the way of the wind.

Despite the fact that most of the past few days he’d been sleeping, he found himself yawning. He wouldn’t complain, and neither would she. It was just too cozy, curled together in blankets, but he wanted to fight it off for at least a little bit longer.

“Hey Namine?”

“Hm?”

“I’m just… really happy I found you again. I missed you.” His lazy smile faltered slightly.

“I’m really sorry I forgot.”

She gave him a bittersweet look.

“It’s really okay, none of it was your fault. I’ll never be mad at you.”

“I know, I just… it just bugs me, you know? What kind of person just forgets their best friend?”

She held him closer.

“You didn’t do anything wrong Sora, you didn’t choose any of that. You don’t have to worry; I’ll fix it soon too, and then it will be just like before, everything will be perfect.”

Just like before. What a nice thought to drift off to.


	9. Tailings

Riku woke up being shaken, tasting dirt and wet grass. 

As soon as he was conscious enough to process it, he leapt to his feet, gripping Soul Eater tightly. To his pleasant surprise, it wasn’t any heartless or cloaked figure standing over him, quite the opposite in fact. Looking down he saw the stout and cheerful form of his friend, in the flesh for the first time in a while.

He didn’t put any thought into it; he banished his weapon and threw his arms around Mickey.

“Ha… I guess you’re alright then huh?” He quipped, patting his back.

Riku drew away.

“I- yeah, I’m okay. How did you make it here?”

It was then that it dawned on him that he didn’t know where here was.

They were standing in a large empty field, next to a dirt path that led up to a tall and imposing building with crooked green spires. A few feet away, Donald and Goofy were standing together, looking at him; curious but wary. The sky above him was dark and spotted with stars, and a cool breeze made the hairs on his arms stand up. What in the world? What was..?

“I’m not fully sure. When I left the realm of darkness I must’ve been thrown out into some random world, I didn’t really know where I was. It took a while, but I managed to find you; with his help.” 

Mickey gestured to a figure who stepped out from behind Riku, wrapped in red bandages and orange robes. A single amber eye peered out from his mask, spearing into Riku in a way that reminded him too much of Ansem. He spoke, a deep and cold sound.

“Pleased to meet you Riku, I apologise, but we do not have time for conversation. There are enemies here and I think it would be best to retreat for now.”

“Wait. Wasn’t I just…” It was hard to remember exactly, but he could put two and two together.

“Wasn’t I in there?”

He pointed to the castle on the hill.

“Very good my boy. That is Castle Oblivion, a stronghold for creatures of darkness. I have no clue why you were in that place, or how it is exactly that you got out, but no matter; we must be going.”

With that, the robed man turned and thrust his hand out. A dark hole was ripped into the world a little ways in front of him, and he did not pause as he walked inside.

Riku was… unsure of how to react. What was even going on? Mickey gave him an apologetic look, and handed him something. It looked like a coat. He noticed that everyone, save for the red wrapped stranger, were all wearing ones just like it. Just like the people inside Castle Oblivion.

“Gee… I know it isn’t the greatest introduction, and you’re probably mighty confused, but just bear with me for a little while. Put this on and follow me, I’ll explain as best I can on the way.”

He wasn’t in a position to argue.

The leather was heavy on his skin, but it wasn’t as warm as he thought it would be. He didn’t understand what it was for until he stepped into the darkness, not feeling it as completely as last time. It was familiar; the way it’s pitch black tendrils would ghost over them, searching for light to devour. He tried not to remember how that same desire had gripped him not that long ago, and echoes of laughter rung in his head. This was the worst.

Mickey must have been able to tell something was wrong, because it seemed like he was drawing out his explanations to try and distract him.

“The fella at the front is called Diz. I don’t think it’s his real name, but I didn’t really think I should be that much of a stickler about it since I just met him. Can’t help but wonder though.”

Swallowing down anxiety, Riku tried to keep replying.

“Where did you find him?”

“It’s hard to say, It felt more like he found me. I was wandering worlds and he appeared saying that he could help me out with saving you. Next thing I knew I popped out in that field and you were already there. I don’t know how he knew who you were though, let alone where you were.”

Mickey furrowed his brow.

“It is a might suspicious, but help is help. I figure he’ll want something later from us in return, but I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Besides, I don’t think it will be anything we can’t handle, huh?”

Riku nodded.

Ahead of them he saw Donald and Goofy, ambling behind Diz who had a decent lead on all of them. Where did they fit into all of this?

“How did you two get here?” He asked.

They looked back at him, surprised. He could feel something in him, a guilt, whenever he looked at their faces, but he couldn’t think of any reason why. He knew they had met, he just didn’t know where or why. Apparently they felt strangely about him too, he could see the way they drew into themselves slightly. Goofy was the one to answer him.

“We uh… we don’t really know. Just kinda ended up there.”

He looked sad, and a little disturbed. Donald patted his hand reassuringly, but even he wasn’t keeping a poker face. Neither group could really think of much else to say.

“Everyone, we have arrived.”

Diz called back.

Sure enough, they found themselves approaching a bright gap in the void. They quickened their pace.

Stepping out onto the grass was almost embarrassingly relieving for Riku.

They were in a clearing surrounded by woods, in front of a rusted old gate. Inside it a hulking ancient building stood, covered in vines, casting shadows down on them. It was sunset, which lit everything up in an orange glow.

Diz stood ahead of them all, throwing his arms out to present their surroundings, a leering smile on his face.

“Gentlemen, welcome to Twilight Town.” He boomed.

His eye stared through Riku.

“We have a lot of work to do.”


	10. Learning Curve

Training. In theory he knew what it normally entailed; being challenged by a mentor to grow stronger, but nothing about his situation could really be predicted.

Sora was woken up with a shout, rushed through a portal, and had a short breakfast of dried meat and fruit thrown at him, before being shoved off onto a cold stone terrace for sparring. He wasn’t a morning person, but usually he did his best to stay cheerful. Today however, was pushing his limits.

Larxene had been the one who got him up, and she was the one “training” him. She looked happier than he’d ever seen her since she had gloated at him back at Castle Oblivion, and he had a sneaking suspicion that it was because she was allowed to lay into him again, to her brand new heart’s content.

Larxene said she taught by doing; which meant that she would leap at Sora at breakneck speeds, slicing at his heels with her kunai and cackling as lightning trailed from the blades, and very occasionally, she would throw out some condescending remark about his posture or how shoddy his block was. Truly inspiring. It wasn’t long before he started tiring, but she didn’t really care. The only solace was that at least this time, he didn’t have to fumble around with cards.

He grunted as her knives sliced against his keyblade, shooting sparks into his face.

“Rrg… Can we-”

Slash.

“...be done-”

He had to quickly dodge the bolts of a thundaga spell.

“...soon?”

She did a back handspring, narrowly missing a swing he took at her, landing poised to strike again.

“Aw, is the baby tired?” She cooed. “Well I hate to tell you this, but I’m a bumbling kind saint next to Xemnas, so you’re just going to have to suck it up!”

And she was on him again. You know what? He was tired; tired from the rude and early awakening, tired of being thrown around, tired of her bullshit… and tired of playing defensive. A memory flashed in his mind again, but this one was from inside the castle, not beforehand. It was quick, but it told him enough.

He dodged away, putting distance between them, before calling a blizzara spell to the tip of his blade. He didn’t release it right away though. She thought she saw what he was doing, she was rushing him quickly to try and trick him, but at the last second she vanished into blurry sparks. He knew where she was. Sora jumped forward, turning to face her as she tried to strike his back. He finally let the ice crystals fly, and she gasped in surprise as the frigid shards hailed through her.

Sora dodged away again, taking the precious time to cast cura on himself again, which soothed the buzzing in his limbs from the jolts. Leaf Bracer was the only thing that kept him from being fried where he stood as a huge crackling beam of lightning was shot directly at him.

“You little insect!” She shrieked. Uh oh.

The rest of the match did not take long. Larxene went whole hog, hardly giving him a second to breathe between thunder and knives. She left him laying on the ground, twitching and with hair standing up in a way that was wild even for him. She gave him nothing but a wimpy little cure spell for a goodbye.

He had resigned himself to laying there for a while, until he could find the strength to scrape himself off the stone. He was not expecting someone to lie with him. So no break then.

“Don’t worry too much about her, it won't always be like this.”

He swiveled his head on a very sore neck, and saw Namine next to him, sprawled out on the ground. She was still wearing her coat, and she had her book bag again.

“Ugh… I hope not, I’ll be too sore to even walk, let alone fight anyone.”

He scowled weakly.

“She just likes picking on you, well, on anyone really. The other two will probably be a bit more… effective in their approaches, and as for me well…”

She grinned at him.

“I’ll take it easy. Speaking of which,” 

She sat up and held out her hand to help him up.

“I know you don’t feel like it, but I’m supposed to start helping out with your memories now.”

He groaned. She laughed.

“I know I know, it isn’t my decision though. Besides, I do most of the heavy lifting, you just have to be there, that’s all.”

She took the initiative and grabbed his hand, gingerly pulling him up to his feet. They slowly wandered back into the heart of the crumbling castle. Careful as they were, Sora still tripped a few times because of how numb the thunder had made his legs. He was just grateful that their destination didn’t require traversing many stairs.

Namine had chosen a room closer to the bottom of the structure for her studio, where she did all her drawing, and apparently, where they would reconstruct his memories. It was small and brown and stone, much like many other rooms, but what set this one apart was how tidy it was. Save for the drawings affixed to the walls and laying on the desk, there was no clutter or debris. The furniture must have been moved in from other parts of the castle, the colours didn’t all match, but none of it was damaged to a noticeable degree.

There was a dark brown wooden desk equipped with a multitude of coloured pencils and papers, with a green upholstered dining chair sitting in front of it. Off to the side in front of the desk there was a large blue sofa chair, with some grey throw pillows flung on top. She led him to the blue chair, before taking her place at the desk.

“Alright then, I’ll try to keep this short. I can change your memories by drawing, but to do a more complete job, and I need you to tell me what you think you remember, so I can change it to what it should be. I’ll prompt you with questions, all you have to do is answer them from the heart, okay?”

He shrugged.

“Yep, ask away.” 

She laughed a little at that, before turning to face him fully, hands raised placatingly.

“Not just yet. I need you to have access to the memories so you can tell me what you see, so you’ll need to get a little deeper in your head than you are right now.”

He gave her a blank look. He thought this was going to be easy. She thought for a moment before she spoke.

“Can you feel your heart?”

It seemed like a bit of a silly question. As always, if he focused, he could feel his light inside him, warm in his chest. It was where he drew his keyblade, his magic, everything from. He nodded at her, unsure of what this everyday sensation was supposed to mean.

“There’s something that I can do, and that you can do too, but you can do it better. This is going to sound weird and not make a lot of sense, but just do whatever you feel is right.”

She paused for a moment, hesitating to find the right words.

“Reach out to it.”

…

Well she wasn’t wrong, he didn’t really know where to go with that, but he didn’t want to disappoint her; and he really wanted his true memories back. Whatever he felt was right, okay. He closed his eyes and imagined watching himself sitting there in the chair, as if he was a third person in the room. If he was gonna think about it in the most literal sense, he supposed…

He thought of stretching his arm out, into his own chest like a ghost, and feeling a warm pearl under his fingers. Would that be what it was like? He heard Namine’s voice, tentative and excited.

“You found it. Reach.”

He was taken aback when his hand found purchase on something tangible, physical, but he didn’t have time to be confused. The next thing he saw was the bright colours of stained glass, laying back on the faces of people he didn’t know anymore. Her voice still spoke to him, but he couldn’t see her anymore. He could hear a smile on her face.

“Yes! You did it! This is your heart Sora, now we can start clearing things up.”

  
  



	11. Shreds of Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is kinda weird but I like it?

The heart was a strange place.

The only way Sora could think to explain it was that it was like a dream. He didn’t feel connected to his body, there were images that he could somewhat recognise, but not all the way, and the world would change at a thought. He didn’t really know what he was supposed to be doing, but he supposed that was why she was here.

Namine’s voice echoed out through the void to him.

“Your heart holds your memories, down in it’s darkness. I'll guide you there, don’t be afraid.”

He would’ve asked what she meant, but he was interrupted by the ground beneath him shaking. Everything up until this point wasn’t surprising, it felt like he had control over everything here, which made sense since it was his heart, but this was different; unexpected.

The platform he was on was tilting, being pulled off kilter by pearly white chains, sending him to slide off into the dark below. He tried, he tried to shove the fear down, but something about careening into an endless pit of evil wouldn’t let him stay calm. 

He fell, eyes closed, curled into a ball like a child. He couldn’t tell for how long through the panic, but eventually he gently landed on something. 

“You have to get up now. Don’t fear your darkness, it’s part of you too. Find your memories.”

That wasn’t as reassuring as she probably hoped it was, but he did have a job to do. He forced his eyes open, but he might’ve just as well kept them shut. The dark around him was all encompassing

Wait.

Almost all encompassing. Something was here. 

He approached it with caution. This dark spot was different? It was hard to tell. He reached out to touch it, and he felt his fingers brush it. It was electric, slightly warmer than the cool air, but something about it felt restrained, like the sun was exploding a million miles away. 

A familiar weight materialised in his hand. Whatever he felt was right. Reach out to it.

The keyblade’s beam speared forward, crashing headlong into a keyhole. He felt it unlock, and his eyes went wide; excited to see what awaited him at the depths of his heart. Would they be the fake memories, or the real ones? Would he be able to tell? He could see blurry faces drifting through the opening.

Before he could make a single move, everything changed.

The darkness receded to white glowing chains. They threw themselves around his limbs, one after the other; dragging him to his knees in a matter of seconds. Their links weighed so heavy that he couldn’t move anything but his head. He looked up to try and figure out what had happened, and was shocked to see Namine standing there, right next to him. Right next to the vulnerable keyhole. Her smile was hungry, wolfish.

“Sora, you did so well. I can fix everything now, nothing will hold me back!”

He trusted Namine, he would carry her to the ends of the earth, but no number of lies soothed the screams from the truth, now exposed to it’s tormentor. This was wrong. Everything was wrong.“Please Sora, don’t let her do this.”; Voices called from the keyhole.

He pushed as hard as he could to get himself to his feet, taking a few struggling steps despite his leg’s shaking. He tried to grab her, to stop her.

“Namine don’t!” He pleaded.

Her eyes were cold and patronizing.

“It will be perfect, you just have to sit back and let me do it. Lazybum.”

The chains redoubled their efforts to restrain him, and he couldn’t resist them anymore. He fell flat on his face. No! She couldn’t touch this place, this was not a place that could be changed, should be changed. He didn’t know how he knew this, but it was primal and basic, and all he had left. His muscles burned from how hard he pushed, but he made up no ground. He bit and snarled and flailed and cried, desperate to protect the only remaining shreds of truth. She only cooed back meaningless reassurances as she stole them all away.

Sora slept calmly as she sketched.

He made a good point earlier; he was sleeping quite a bit recently, probably more than he should considering all the work there was to be done. Well, things should go more smoothly from here on out now that she could do work on his core rather than only memories on the fringes. She did hate seeing him so scared, but like the trials at Castle Oblivion, it was a necessary evil; the heart wouldn’t let itself be remade so easily. She would be gentle though, the security measures were way overkill for the small edits she had planned. A few new colours and words, that’s all. 

Just one replacement, that’s all.

Across from her, he stirred in his sleep, brow furrowing. Oh, just one more quick fix. She took out a new piece of paper and drew out a scene; Sora on his knees, wrapped in chains, and her, admiring the keyhole he had just opened. Already she could feel how much easier the memory alterations would be from now on; she didn’t have to fight with his heart anymore as she drew, it went so much faster. Satisfied with the picture, she picked it up and narrowed her eyes in concentration.

The colours and lines went grey and blurred as two ghostly chains flashed in an “x” over the drawing. There we are; it never happened. Sora was still again. She took out a very thick binder from her bag and laid the page inside, alongside the other forgotten, unimportant pictures.

“N...Namine?”

She whirled around to see Sora blinking blearily up at her.

“What’s goin on?”

She gave him a sweet smile.

“Oh nothing much, I just quizzed you a bit, don’t you remember?”

With expert speed, she twirled her pencils around another new page. Oh this was so much nicer! Her lines curved into the shapes of the two of them, sitting cross legged and smiling on brightly glowing platforms. This would be a wonderful memory.

“No, I don’t really know what just-”

Sitting, laughing, talking, down at the core of his heart.

“Oh.”

It took a moment for him to process it, but once he did his eyes lit up.

“Yeah! Sorry I blanked on that, I guess I’m just not used to going in my heart; it was weird, but fun. What do we do now?”

He was happy. Happiness she made. Her heart sang.

“Well I have a bit more drawing to do, all you really have to do is relax while I do it; having you in the room makes it easier.”

Was that a lie now? She knew that before it took much longer, and a whole lot more effort the further he was from her. Would that still be true now that he was so open to her? Did it matter? That she could answer instantly; no. There was no harm in just hanging out together after all. She grinned at him, and he returned it.

“Okay.”

He laid back, placing his hands behind his head. They talked about nothing for a good long while, about the castle, about the others and what they were up to, about fake memories that were totally real. It was like nothing had happened, because nothing had. Hours fell away into nothing, and Sora left for lunch feeling like everything was perfect; just like she promised.


	12. Small Talks and Lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, I'm still going to update this regularly, but I don't think I can do one a day anymore. It's honestly been surprising to have it last this long. I think from here on out it will be every other day, sorry.

Lunch was so normal it was weird. Thinking about these intimidating people eating was such a humanizing action for them; no haughtiness or power could really be conveyed while stuffing your face, so they were all just… them. He guessed even nobodies had to eat. Sora wanted to laugh, but he felt it would be rude. Him and Namine had made their way slowly back to the main hall they had met in on the first day. He didn’t remember that many stairs being on the way, but the pain in his legs would make sure he remembered this time.

The food was like he found it that morning; dry ration food from a sack on the table, a take some and go kind of deal. It wasn’t appetizing, but the only alternative was dirt, so he made do. There weren’t many places to sit; Larxene was sitting on the other side of the table, and there wasn’t any other furniture to be found here. There was the floor, but neither of them really wanted to keep her company, so Namine made a corridor up to the room they had claimed the first day.

The breeze still made the room cold, but less so than the night before; especially since Sora had the bright idea to light the fireplace up with fira. 

The two of them sat on a dirty rug, trying their best to enjoy the food.

Sora picked some jerky out of his teeth, grimacing down at the pieces he had left to eat.

“Man, I hope when this stuff runs out they’ll pick up some bread or something. I know this won’t spoil, but that’s like the only good thing about it.”

Namine shrugged, leaning back and tossing more raisins in her mouth.

“I don’t really mind it, but I guess I haven’t really had the chance to care about taste for that long. I’d be excited to know what cake is like.”

“Wait what? How have you never had cake before?!”

She stiffened ever so slightly for a second, carefully considering how her words would fit into her pictures.

“Well, before I gained my replacement heart I didn’t really have the capacity to care about taste, or anything really. Now I can process it; and I’m glad to hear the experience will get better from here.”

Sora was puzzled, pursing his lips.

“Back on the islands though… you never had a birthday party or anything? Or do you just not remember it? I’m sure I would’ve invited you to mine, you’re my best friend.”

She relaxed. It was lovely when he did the work for her. She took a small notebook from her bag and wrote down some notes for future reference.

“I do remember going to a few parties, I’m sure at least one was for you. I’m not sure, maybe it’s just been too long since I’ve had cake.”

Sora’s eyes went out of focus suddenly.

“Oh…” He muttered.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just realized; I don’t remember when my birthday is...”

It was such an odd and disturbing thought. How had he not noticed sooner? How many other basic things were missing? The questions came quickly, but they stopped when he caught Namine’s violet eyes, gazing at him curiously. Right. He shoved the feelings down.

“...but I guess it doesn’t really matter. I’ll remember it at some point, right?”

She nodded good naturedly at him.

“Of course, in fact, I can make that a priority for tomorrow if you’d like.”

Relief flooded him. He kept forgetting; she could fix everything.

“Oh you can? Thank you! It just feels weird not knowing, you know?”

She didn’t know, she remembered her birthday perfectly, it had been so recent after all, but it would make him feel better if she pretended she understood.

“Yeah, I guess it would be a little strange. I’ll do it first thing.”

The conversation petered off there, the two of them just enjoying the fire crackling and each other’s company. In Sora’s opinion lunch was too short, but there wasn’t anything he could do to change it when Namine reluctantly led him back through the corridor to the main room. Marluxia was there, waiting to start his own training with him.

Sora missed her as soon as he lost sight of her, but Marluxia was quick to give him lots of distraction.

To avoid him needing a chaperone everywhere he went, he insisted that Sora learn to create dark corridors on his own. They took up a spot outside on another stone terrace for practice.

Sora did not like the way dark magic felt. His other spells, even if he didn’t fully remember their origin, came naturally to him like muscle memory after he tried them a few times; but darkness was different. It felt slippery and cold and evil, and his keyblade buzzed with discomfort whenever he managed to summon any in his numerous attempts.

“Concentrate. Darkness is there if you call for it, just focus.” Marluxia urged.

At the very least Marluxia was actually teaching him things instead of beating him up. He held the blade out in front of him with both hands and tried again. Cringing, he managed to materialise some shadowy wisps on the ground ahead of him, as oily goo dripped off the tip of his weapon. Was it an improvement? Probably. Still felt gross though.

“Okay, better. Again. You have to connect your darkness to that of the worlds so you can open the door.”

“How do I do that? You make it sound so easy.”

The older man sighed, slightly exasperated.

“It’s difficult to explain. Hearts of anything have darkness, at least most of the time. It’s only a matter of getting this darkness to meet with that of wherever you’re trying to go. I think you’ll just have to experience it to fully understand.”

Sora wasn’t satisfied with that answer, but he wouldn’t get anything better by complaining. Stifling another cringe, he tried again. He once again got his own darkness out, he could feel it leaching out the end of his keyblade uncomfortably, but the idea of reaching a world’s darkness didn’t make sense. People’s hearts were in their chests, but where would a world keep it’s? His spell started fizzling out, the darkness seemed to get bored quickly if it found nothing to interest it. He strained to keep it stable. 

“There, yes. Now just let it do what it wants. It should connect with the ambient darkness naturally, just let it go.”

Not knowing how to interpret that otherwise, Sora took it literally. He shot the oily magic off like he would a fire spell.

The relief he felt when it lost contact with his blade was lovely.

Marluxia looked surprised, and then disappointed.

“No, not like that. It will do all the work once you summon it, don’t try to-”

He was interrupted by a spluttering whoosh, and turned to see a very shrimpy and weak little hole marr the air, before vanishing.

Both of them had to take a second to realize, but as soon as Sora did he jumped and pumped his weapon in the air.

“Yeah! I did it!

“It’s progress, but no, you didn’t. Try again.”

He stopped externally celebrating, but he kept the pride over getting it right bubbling inside. Being excited made using this magic feel less wrong.


	13. Unrest in New Shadows

Riku had supposedly been saved, but he didn’t really feel safe here, even with Mickey around.

He had a sense that something wasn’t right, and he couldn’t shake it. Maybe it was Diz and his mysterious and malicious way of speaking; he hardly bothered hiding his ulterior motives from them, and he smelled like darkness. Not quite as bad as the guys in the coats had, at least, from what he could remember; or Ansem, but he was still on his guard. It was hard not to be when you have amnesia and are forced through dark portals to some mad scientist’s collapsing house. 

Then again, it just might be the gap in his memory making him feel off. He knew he had been inside Castle Oblivion, a supposed base for “Organization Xiii”, but how and why he had gotten inside were questions that buzzed incessantly in his head. Diz had acted surprised to find him there along with Mickey, but something about his eyes told Riku he knew more than he was letting on.

It wasn’t like he would tell him, he never even gave him a chance to ask. The only thing the man seemed interested in was lecturing all of them about these creatures called nobodies. It seemed the price for being saved by Diz was to help him wipe them out for him; he insisted they meet daily for hours in his dank basement so he could teach them about how to do it. 

It hadn’t even been that long yet, and Riku was sure that he wasn’t the only one who was sick of it. He understood what they were the first day, just some spruced up heartless with a different name; they didn’t need to hear it for a week straight. He could almost always predict what Diz would say at this point, in fact, one of the ways he entertained himself during these meetings was by attempting to lip sync along with the lecture. He was doing it now, leaning on his palm to cover his mouth movements.

“The nobodies are deceptive creatures, so much so that they lie to themselves; do not forget that they cannot feel anything, and will not ever. There is no point to them other than to disrupt the natural way of things, so they must be stamped out.”

Diz said, pacing around the lab while they looked on.

“They may look like people, but do not let their lies sway your hearts; they are nothing but flesh puppets for darkness. I will not tolerate sympathy for monsters. I remind you of this once more, though you already knew I hope, so that you are ready to start facing them in the field.”

The whole table perked up, Donald and Goofy with apprehension, and Mickey and Riku with interest. Well that was new, some action would be a nice change of pace, he thought. Riku had silently been hoping that Mickey would make the decision to just leave, but he wasn’t the type to take without giving something back. Finally, some quick fights and then they'd be done with it all and leave this dump. Then maybe he could go home to Kairi, since the islands were fine now. Wait… were they? He frowned slightly. He remembered them being restored, another one of those weird hazy memories where he saw Donald and Goofy and Ansem, but… how? Did the darkness just decide his world was gross and spit it back up? That would be nice, if uncharacteristic.

“Riku! Did you hear a word I said?”

He blinked and found the rest of the room looking at him.

“Oh, no sorry. I was lost in thought.”

Diz stared down at him disappointedly, sighing before repeating his plans for their day.

“I’m sending you all out into the woods so you can become physically acquainted with our enemies. This is one of the worlds where they most frequently crop up, and one of the few of those that we can reach easily, so it’s a good place to start.”

The rundown was brief; take out nobodies until no more could be found, or nightfall came. 

It was only midmorning.

Equipped with nothing more than their weapons, the protective coats, and the odd potion, the four of them were unceremoniously kicked out into the woods. It wasn’t all bad though, it was out of that house.

They trekked along the paths of the woods in circles, occasionally stopping to take out a few small heartless. The silence between them was awkward, especially between him and Donald and Goofy, but attempts to break into a conversation only kept making it worse, at least in Riku’s opinion. The king however didn’t seem to share these thoughts. 

He was probably just trying to cheer them up, but he was chipper as ever, intent on completing their missions with a smile. He would joke and make small talk like nothing was wrong with the world, making them interact for the sake of it. It reminded Riku of being in school on the islands; whenever they started a new grade the teacher would do things like that to try and get the students acquainted with each other. It always made him cringe, and now the thought of it also made homesickness curl in his stomach.

He had wanted to leave so badly, but now he just missed the monotony of island life. He hadn’t thought that would ever happen to him of all people, but maybe it was because he figured he’d do his world travelling with his friends. It would be different with Kairi around, she never failed to make them laugh, and-

“So what do you think Riku?” Mickey looked up at him curiously.

Oops. He really had to quit zoning out like that.

“Sorry, what was the question?”

“Donald and Goofy agreed to make a contest out of defeating nobodies-” He chuckled ruefully. “...once we actually manage to find any that is. Whoever gets the most wins, and I figure once we show Diz we can handle ourselves he won’t be so bothered if we go into town, so we could pitch in to buy that person something nice. Whaddaya say?”

A game, here in a monster infested, unfamiliar forest, under orders from a creepy old man.

It did sound like a nice distraction, he couldn’t help but laugh a little at the absurdity of the circumstances though.

“Yeah sure, why not?”

Mickey clapped once with delight.

“Perfect. Well, be on your guard fellas, the stakes are high!”

On they went, with a slightly less ragged demeanor about them.

At some point, Riku caught Donald’s gaze for a second. He looked tired, just like how he himself felt, but it was clear he was trying his best to be happy, or at least look it. When he met his eyes though, his face fell back into that fearful and unsure stare from the caste field. Riku gave him a weak smile, trying to be friendly, but it was clear he still didn’t trust him. He supposed he had the right to feel that way though.

Something had definitely happened to them both, at Castle Oblivion, and before, and Riku knew somehow that it was his fault. The memories he had of them were spotty and disjointed, but he knew how he had felt seeing them then; powerful and jealous and cruel. Ansem had been part of it, he was sure, but not all of it could be blamed on him.

He may not know what he had done, but he did know this; he would do his best to make up for it… somehow. 

Before he could think of something to say, a streak of silver shot across the trail a little ways ahead of them, a trail of ghostly grey thorns following close behind it. They all knew what that meant, it had been beaten into their brains for a week straight. They were armed in a flash, shield, staff, key, and blade ready to tear the creatures to shreds.

Well, nothing breaks the ice quite like a good fight.


	14. Sweet Cute

Nobodies were slippery, they moved like seaweed near the shore; darting back and forth with a strange grace that made it look like they were tumbling over, but they always landed with purpose, ready to strike fast, and  _ hard _ . Riku could admit that his earlier comparison to the heartless was a little hasty, those moved more like animals or toddlers would depending on the type, these were not in any way natural.

He grunted as one of them struck him with a swing of it’s legs to his back. He whirled and swiped at it with Soul Eater, but all he hit was air as it stretched itself out of the way.

“Look out!” Donald squawked, leaping out from behind Goofy’s shield to summon thunder bolts to stun another nobody that had come up behind Riku.

He wasted no time rushing it, driving his sword through it’s shiny torso. It burst into thorns with a final few twitches.

“Thanks!”

He got rid of some of the other stunned dusks with them before running down a grassy hill he’d been on, to meet back up with Mickey. 

They all had to do their part to manage the numbers, the one nobody had evidently been a trick for an ambush, but having a keyblade at their disposal was making it a whole lot nicer than it would’ve been. Something about Mickey’s hits just seemed to pack more of a punch, so falling back to his side was the closest thing to a “safe zone” they were gonna get. Still, in retrospect it made it a little unfair for him to participate in their little bet if his weapon was better.

Riku found him batting two dusks and a creeper away with wide strikes, stunning them in quick succession before blasting them to nothing with a faith spell. Despite the light show, it was clear he was starting to tire. Riku fumbled with his pockets as he approached, tossing an ether his way when he got close enough.

Mickey took it gratefully.

“Are we about done?” He asked, breathing heavily.

Riku nodded.

“I think so yeah. Donald and Goofy are just up there with most of the remaining nobodies.”

He started jogging back up the hill, and Mickey followed him.

“This will thin them out good enough for now, right?”

The king nodded.

“Well I know I’m sure ready to start headin’ back.”

As they passed the crest of the hill they rejoined the fray, small respite over.

Riku rolled between a set of dusks before turning and slashing them with his sword. They were knocked back towards Mickey, who finished them off with another flash of magic. The two of them continued to hack their way through the crowds of creatures until they found the other pair.

The load was much easier to handle with all of them there, Goofy made sure to cover their blind spots and keep them from being overwhelmed, and Donald could dish out buffs and status effects at lightning speed that made everything move much faster. This combined with Riku’s agility and Mickey’s prowess in using his light made for a very efficient, if exhausting, victory.

As the last of the nobodies fled into their thorny portals, they flopped back on the grass, passing the last of their potions around to patch themselves up. It was a comfortable, proud silence for a few moments, just catching breaths and allowing heartbeats to slow, before a very good question crept back into their minds.

“So who won?” Donald asked.

Goofy scratched at his head.

“Well uh… it probably wasn’t me. I forgot to keep track of how many.”

Donald suddenly looked very pleased with himself.

“I did! Well… mostly. I got ten of em at least, but I also helped all the rest of you out with magic, so I’m taking credit for those too. It’s in the bag!”

Riku couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him.

“What’s so funny?”

“That’s cheating and you know it.”

“It is not! If I wasn’t there it woulda been way worse!”

Mickey looked amused.

“You’re right on that I suppose, but if you’re counting assists as points for yourself, then we all get to. It’s only fair, hm?”

Donald deflated, annoyed but without any good arguments against him.

Numbers were tossed back and forth in half hearted bickering for some time, before they resolved that if they were sharing credit for everything that went into a kill, they would all just end up with around the same score. It wasn’t a satisfying answer, but it was hard to say that just getting everyone a treat was a bad idea. 

It was still daylight, a few hours before sunset, so technically they were supposed to either continue hunting nobodies, or report back to the mansion, but neither of those sounded very fun. They may owe Diz a favor, but he wasn’t really their boss, so even Mickey figured they could take a little break, he would either be fine with it or deal with it; they were getting something sweet.

It was pretty surreal for Riku, just walking into town. The constant orange glow of the sky made the whole place feel warm and comfortable. It was so full of normal people, just ambling around stores and talking. He had spent so long wandering through the wilds of the different worlds, fighting terrible creatures in darkness and experiencing the marvels of magic, that seeing just a town full of perfectly human people was almost nostalgic. 

He was unsure of whether to laugh or be disturbed at the realization; it was kind of melodramatic. Maybe he’d just have to come here more often, so going home wouldn’t be as weird. Maybe he could bring Kairi around here sometime, if they were gonna explore together it might be nice to start in a civilised place, instead of a broken mess like Hollow Bastion.

The four of them wandered the streets for a while, looking for a food stand or bakery that appealed to everyone, admiring the neon signs that were starting to come alive. They came across a promising one nearer to the center of Twilight Town, a block or two away from a huge clocktower that rose up from the central train station; a small ice cream shop store-front embedded along the strip. The line wasn’t too long, and Mickey volunteered to stand in it and buy the food if they all gave him some munny and told him what they wanted, so the other three ended up taking a place at one of the surrounding tables on the small patio.

It was comfortable for the most part, as much as wrought iron chairs could be, but they did get a few curious looks from passers by.

“Should we have changed out of the coats or something? I feel like we’re sticking out a lot.”

Riku wondered aloud.

“Well you blend in a little better than us, it looks like mostly humans live here.” Goofy said.

“I suppose we might be a little funny lookin’ to em, that’s all.”

“Oh yeah… I kinda forgot about that. I guess you’re right, I’m still taking this off though, it looks ridiculous.”

Riku unzipped the long zipper and shrugged the coat off his shoulders, before tying the arms around his waist. Donald followed suit, bunching his up to sit on it.

“I’ll say. It’s too hot for coats anyways.”

Goofy just shrugged, fiddling with the metal strings that hung down from his neck.

“Well I think they’re comfy.” Something off to the side caught his eye, and he smiled.

“We’ve got ice cream now too, it’ll keep us cool.”

Mickey stepped up to the table, carefully balancing a bunch of paper bowls in his arms before setting them down and beginning to pass them out. Donald had gotten cookies and cream, Goofy caramel swirl, Riku mint chip, and he had gotten himself some fudge.

“What were you fellas talking about?” He asked, taking a seat and digging in.

“Not a whole lot; people were just looking at us weird. I thought it was the stupid coats.” Riku told him, after swallowing his first bites.

“Well I guess we are a little outside the norm for this world,” The king conceded. “...but it doesn’t really matter. Nobody here is probably going to know about other worlds anyway save for Diz, so it’s not like they’ll notice us being out of place.”

He was right. They had a pleasant, uneventful rest of the evening; talking and laughing until the sun went down.

Unfortunately, nobody did notice them, on his way to get ice cream for his two best friends. 


	15. The Birth of Habits and Sora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm highkey really happy with this, and it's really long. Double whammy baby!!! :D

For the first time in a while, Sora was excited to wake up. There was still training to slog through in the morning and evening, which had gotten old really fast after the first week, but at lunch: that was where the magic would happen.

It was his birthday today.

Namine had kept her word, restoring his memory of the date in question the day after he’d asked, and it turned out that it had only been ten days away. It had been lucky he’d asked when he did, or he might’ve missed it! 

Already anxious for lunch break, he threw himself out of his bedroll and into his clothes, the chill not dampening his mood in the slightest. He had started sleeping by the lit fireplace every night, which made it a little nicer anyway; it made him smell like ash, but that was better than shivering every morning when he had to pry himself out of the blankets.

Breakfast was just as bland and cold as usual, unfortunately. Only more dried meats and fruits, leathery on his tongue. The others didn’t seem to care about what day it was, which he had to admit hurt his feelings a little bit, but it wasn’t like he could expect stuff like pancakes from them. They had Xemnas stuff to worry about. In retrospect, he supposed he should probably be more worried about that too, but ruminating on it wouldn’t help anyone, and birthdays were much more fun to think about, at least for now. 

Like always, Larxene insisted they spar all morning, gleeful at the violent start to every day. As unhelpful and painful as her training sessions were, he thought he was at least getting a little better. His blocks were more stable, he held his stance even when she wailed on him, and he had definitely gotten faster too. The lightning that hounded him around their little arena still gave him the runaround, but now he was able to keep a meter of space between it and himself most times. It was nice to still have feeling in his limbs. He could last a whole lot longer before having to stop, which would usually be a point of pride for Sora, but today he wanted it to end as fast as it reasonably could. She was happy to oblige this silent request, taking every opportunity to knock him down. 

For all his improvements, she wasn’t exactly playing fair.

Cackling, she zipped across the stone, siccing sharp illusions of herself on him. Those were his least favourite, and he was sure she had picked up on that. He couldn’t really hit them, but they could sure hit him. A few of those in a row were his downfall today, teaming up on his front and back with shocks and knife swipes.

Frustrated, tired, but relieved that it was over, he allowed himself to fall, using his arms to shield his face from their knives on the way down.

Once she saw that he had conceded, Larxene huffed in annoyance. She threw a potion down to him, unwilling to waste any magic on a cure spell. He fumbled to grab it as it rolled across the bumpy stone.

“God you’re so weak. At this rate Xemnas will die of old age before you even see him.”

Sora ignored her, tossing the potion above his head with aching arms, sighing in relief as the pale green sparks drifted down to soothe his wounds.

She didn’t say anything more, just sulked off into a portal to who knows where, but he didn’t mind that much. Her attitude was a lot to get used to, but once he realized she would never be pleased with him no matter what he did, it became a little easier to not take it so personally. It was like a game in some ways, a violent, painful, and mean spirited one, but hey, he’d try and be optimistic. This was just how she was, maybe she’d even come around yet, once the whole Xemnas thing was over with. He giggled weakly at the thought of her smiling genuinely. Maybe that was a little too out there in terms of hopes, but oh well.

After waiting a few more minutes to catch his breath and cast a quick supplementary cure once his magic recovered, he stood and held his key out. Somewhat shakily, a corridor ripped it’s way into the world a little ways ahead of him. It wasn’t quite as tall as the ones everyone else made; he had to crouch slightly to enter it properly, and keeping it open was draining and felt gross, but he could make them all by himself now. Right now he could only do it around the castle and a little ways onto the grounds outside it, but that was all he really needed anyways, at least for now.

He held the keyblade out in front of him as he walked through the dark hallways, letting the darkness at it’s tip guide him to where he wanted to go. It wasn’t very long before he clambered out of a small opening onto a low area in the castle’s mottled surrounding courtyard. The grass was grey and crunchy under his shoes as he walked along. It wasn’t a pretty place, and it didn’t really need to be, but maybe they could start watering the lawn every once in a while. As he came around the side of a large piece of rubble, he found Namine waiting for him, sitting on some flat-ish chunks of building and doodling.

She grinned when she saw him approaching, tucking her things in her book bag and standing up to greet him.

Any tiredness from sparring was forgotten as giddiness buzzed in his chest.

“Alright it’s time! You’ve gotta tell me what we’re doing, I can’t wait anymore!” He whined playfully.

She laughed a little, smirking.

“Well if you’re going to be impatient about it, maybe I won’t tell you.”

“Wh-! Hey! I waited like a whole week, more than a week! Come on please?”

She giggled again and held her hands out; one to summon a corridor, and the other offered for him to take, which he did.

“Oh I’m only kidding, I wouldn’t do that, it’s your birthday after all. Besides, I worked hard getting everything ready for you, I’ve been just as excited to show it off.”

Hand in hand, they made their way through the corridor, practically skipping. It took longer than he would’ve thought to arrive, evidently they were going a lot further from the castle than he had assumed. A part of him worried that they wouldn’t make it back in time for evening training, but that part promptly shut up when they stepped out and he saw where they were.

The air smelled like sugar and flowers and paper. All around them giant plant life grew, leaves and mushrooms and beautiful roses. They were standing on top of one of these leaves, it was huge! He worried they might fall onto the ground below, they were quite a few meters in the air, but it held their weight just fine. He was spellbound for a few moments, just taking in the beautiful landscape, but Namine kept on walking, hopping up to some of the higher leaves above them like large, separated stairs. 

Shockingly, as they walked, a name came to him without any difficulty; Wonderland.

He knew this place. Memories of the strangeness of this place came in pieces, disjointed as usual, but that might be just how things were here, if what he could glean from the flashes was true. Castle Oblivion too, one of his memory cards had been from here, almost an exact recreation from what he could tell. It was jarring, and well… wonderful, to easily know what was going on for once.

“Namine?” He asked.

She looked down at him from an especially tall leaf she had climbed to.

“What is it?”

“Is this Wonderland?”

Her face lit up just the way he liked it.

“Yes, I’m glad you recognize it! I wanted to work on your memories of this place before I took you. It’s lovely if you know where to look, and I do, don’t worry. Hurry up here!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming! I’ve already had my workout for the day, gimme a break!”

She didn’t, but he didn’t mind, laughing all the way.

Panting slightly, he eventually got to where she wanted him; up in one of the higher levels of leafy platforms. There was something different here, a little opening in the side of the tree that she beckoned him inside.

Through the hole, he found himself in an enormous pink room, the Bizarre Room, his mind supplied. Though, it wasn’t as it usually was; they were standing on the one wall rather than the floor, everything was tilted! Namine called him again, from on top- well… on the side of the giant fireplace. With one last burst of energy, he did a running leap up to her, gripping the edge of the platform to pull himself up.

“Jeez… where are we going?” He groaned, struggling to shove his weight upwards.

Namine laughed at him again before coming to assist him.

“We’re here! No more walking.”

Sure enough, when he got to his feet, Sora saw a beautiful picnic spread out in front of them; small piles of cookies and fruit on cloth, some delicious looking buns in a basket, and in the center of it all was a very cute set of cupcakes, adorned with white frosting and red heart shaped sprinkles. He almost drooled.

“Woah! This is incredible, where did you get all this?!”

“Oh a bunch of places, mainly here though. I made sure it wouldn’t do anything funny to us, don’t worry, but Wonderland has some of the greatest bakers in all the worlds. The only trouble is understanding their riddles well enough to ask!”

Tentatively, he stepped forward, silently asking permission to start, but she didn’t answer, just went to take a seat, grabbing a cookie on her way down. So that was a yes then. He dug in. It was soooooooooooo good, especially after so long with nothing but the castle food. He didn’t think he could miss bread this much, and it was a glorious reunion.

They ate their fill, ending out splayed across the stone in sleepy satisfaction. The pleasant haze Sora had fallen into was interrupted ever so slightly by Namine sidling up to him, laying her cheek against his shoulder.

“Happy birthday.” She mumbled.

Sora’s face heated up a little.

“Thanks Namine.”


	16. A Longing for JrUeSvTeInCgEe

Sora didn’t think he’d have to worry about sleeping in on a day where he had gotten up early, but it turned out that it was still very possible. Cuddling Namine had predictably knocked him out cold again, and she hadn’t exactly been the most conscious either. The nap had run their lunch break a little longer than it was supposed to go, so as soon as they were up they were panickedly rushing back through the corridor, blinking drowsiness out of his eyes.

The two of them stumbled out into the central room of the castle, panting. Namine was quick to rush off, late to start her work off as well, but she promised to meet him again before bed. He didn’t really get to reply since he had his own schedule to worry about, but he looked forward to it.

Marluxia, predictably, was not pleased with his tardiness when he arrived, waiting with his arms crossed at their usual practicing place.

“Where were you? You know what time we start, are you struggling with the corridors again?”

“No no, I just lost track of time, sorry.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Doing what? There isn’t much in the way of distractions here, purposely.”

Sora didn’t want to lie, he was awful at it, so he was ready to just admit what had happened, but something stopped him. In a split second flash he remembered Namine telling him to keep it a secret, since she might get in trouble for interrupting his training. He couldn’t throw her under the bus after all the things she’s done for him, so he grit his teeth and shrugged.

“I took a nap and forgot to tell anyone to wake me up."

Technically it was true, that made it a little better. Marluxia stared at him dissapointed.

“We can’t afford to waste time; what we have is already borrowed. Do not make this a habit, or there will be consequences, not only from me. Do you understand?”

Sora’s heart clenched up slightly. He nodded.

“Good. Now… we have a lot of work to do.”

Tension and threats aside, Sora at least liked magic lessons. They were a lot more interesting than the sparring and memory work he sometimes had to do; so it wasn’t that hard to pay attention. Once he had somewhat mastered creating corridors, Marluxia had started him on some of the other branches of magic he was less familiar with; as well as more advanced darkness, he learned sleep, slow, bind, and some defensive magic beyond aero’s weak protection.

It was a lot to take in, but the spectacle, and the prospect of using the new spells to one-up Larxene, made it all worth it. Darkness he still wasn’t the biggest fan of, but he couldn’t deny its usefulness and versatility in boosting other types of magic. He tried his best to focus on the other spells when he could, which happened to be a perfectly attainable goal for this particular day.

For the first hours, he was put through drill after drill, more harshly than usual for reasons he could easily guess. Bind was their area of focus for today, something fairly simple in the grand scheme of things, but Marluxia insisted he be aware of every possible flavour it could come in, and practice them all.

“This is a poisoned bind spell. Watch closely.”

To demonstrate, Marluxia summoned thorny black vines from the ground. They twisted jerkily up to the sky, trying to find something living to trap in their grip, before they locked up, and released a noxious cloud of dark purple fumes to drift up from their center. Sora wasn’t in the range of the spell of course, but even from where he was he caught an awful whiff of it. It smelled like every chemical mixed together in a compost bin, rot and toxicity.

He would’ve started holding his nose if Marluxia hadn’t allowed it to dissipate so quickly.

“Now you try. You know bind, a mix of cure and stop; now add in poison, a mix of cure and darkness.”

He said it like they were mixing paints, not abstract concepts, but Sora knew he wouldn’t get anywhere without trying at all.

He raised his keyblade for what felt like the millionth time, much to his arms discomfort, and tried to put the pieces of the spell together.

First the cure, which was easy, to give the plants vitality. He thrust his keyblade into the air, and soft green light began to shine at the tip of his weapon. Now for stop; jagged immovable magic, stubborn and restraining. He flung the blade to the side sharply. The magic shifted to a mauve hue. He had bind, now for the hard part.

He bit his lip and focused on the pain it gave him, before attempting to force it into his weapon. The mauve stained an ugly dark purple and his hands resisted the urge to recoil from it. Okay, darkness down, now another cure. 

He had gotten careless, instead of keeping the spell poised, he had accidently released it above himself with the practiced methods he used for healing magic. The problem was that this wasn’t the friendliest spell. He realised too late that he couldn’t move; legs rooted to the ground by dark vines, thorns digging into his calves.

He only had a second to be confused before the poison came, ominous thick mist billowing out of the ground and into his lungs. He couldn’t do anything except cough and retch, and even these actions were limited due to his predicament. He collapsed on the ground when the spell released him, head spinning with nausea. Every beat of his heart hurt, leaving him weaker with each one.

Then a sensation like a cool, sweet smelling breeze rushed over him, taking all the pain with it. He greedily gulped down clean air. Marluxia looked down at him, smirking.

“Well your aim needs work, but I’d say you used it effectively. I suppose I should touch on esuna if poison is involved.”

Sora slowly got to his feet, shaking off the dizziness.

“Uugh… I’d feel bad using that on anyone, it was awful. Even Larxene.”

Marluxia snorted.

“Well that is the point. I’ve found there are a few in the worlds who deserve it though,”

His eyes hardened. “Xemnas in particular.”

From what Sora had heard he just sounded like a powerful bully. While he agreed he had to be taken down, he was still a little squeamish at the thought of killing anyone. The others had no qualms with this though, and he was worried they wouldn’t just settle for victory alone if revenge was involved. What could somebody do to make people hate them this much? If he knew he might be a little more sure of himself.

“Well, you guys said he’s a pretty awful guy. I’ve been wondering though; what does he actually do? You say he controls nobodies, but I don’t really know what that means.” he asked.

Disgust twisted Marluxia’s face, all amusement at his failure gone.

“Xemnas is a liar. He tells the inductees to the Organization that he will help them become whole, through the creation of a power called Kingdom Hearts, so long as they help him with this goal. In reality he wants to use their labour to take this power for himself, all the while keeping nobodies ignorant to the fact that they don’t need him to obtain hearts. He deprives them of identity, and soothes their doubts about him with existential crises and threats. A life under him is miserable, and almost inescapable.”

Oh. Sora could see the hatred in him, it was scary, but so was the idea of living under a tyrant, from what he could understand. Marluxia then met his eyes directly, a cruel smile on his lips.

“No longer though. We are strong, and will be stronger yet. You have the limitless potential of the keyblade, and we have you. He has his imitation, a mere copy of the real power, and it will not save him. I will take his everything right out from under him, and he won’t be able to stop it.”

“A copy? Of the keyblade?”

Marluxia seemed to come back into the moment, having been caught up in a delicious revenge fantasy. He looked almost alarmed for a second, before smoothing his expression back to neutral.

“...Yes, you don’t need to worry about that though, it shouldn’t be a concern when the time comes. Axel has it covered.”

He didn’t allow any more time for more questions after that, as many as Sora had, insisting they focus on magic again until the only light came from the moon, and eyelids were heavy. 

When he was finally dismissed, Sora had to force his arms to hold up the key and summon a corridor, his biceps were killing him from straining them for so long. All he wanted to do was collapse in his bedroll, and to his delight, Namine was there to keep him company, seated on the rug next to the fireplace, lit with her own magic to get it ready for him. 

He laid down beside her, too exhausted to really keep up any conversation, but she didn’t seem to mind. She ran her fingers through his hair as they watched the flames dance, and, as always, he was out like a light.

He was so tired, so happy to just lay near her and doze off, that he didn’t notice the bitterness in her smile. 


	17. Soft Evening Threats

Namine sat back breathlessly in her chair, having just finished speeding her way through the drawing in front of her; depicting herself telling Sora something with urgency in the darkness of the corridor they walked together. 

Anxiety still twisted in her gut as she admired her handiwork, she hoped she had finished it in time. It had been stupid to go ahead with her plans without telling Sora to be careful, keep it a secret, both of them could get in serious trouble for going off world without Marluxia’s permission, but… she knew that would have made him not want to go along, and she couldn’t have that either. It may not have been his birthday for real, but he deserved to think it was, he deserved so much more than they were giving him in this awful, dirty, dark place. 

She hoped he was a half decent liar, or just knew when to keep his mouth shut, but from what she had seen in his memories she didn’t hold her breath. What would even happen if they were found out, if  _ she _ was found out? Her hands fiddled absently with her pencils. They needed her to make this work, they knew that. Would it be physical harm? That wouldn’t go over well with Sora  _ at all _ with how she had made things; hurting her could make him murderous. That brought a bit of relief at least; the thought of him destroying people for her, but that meant that other options of a much more devious variety could end up being the punishment instead. 

She shook her head, trying to calm herself down. No, it was fine; for all she knew, they didn’t know yet, and they probably never would. Besides, she thought with a tinge of bitter satisfaction, she did have power here, power over their favourite tool that she could take away if they made it worthwhile to her. However, the idea of standing up to the traitorous nobodies was still terrifying, even as she tried to reason she could take them on in her own way. 

Sighing heavily, she shoved the patch-up picture into a folder with others that shared its purpose, before putting it away in her desk. Enough of thinking about this, her time with these people would end soon enough if she did her work, then she wouldn’t have to worry about anything but spending time with Sora.

So work she did. 

For hours she worked in the dreary grey room, looking between notes on the story she was weaving, and the countless pictures that spilled off the desk onto the floor, awaiting organization in folders of their own. She had already started on Wonderland, mostly for her own convenience for his “birthday”, but also since it came fairly early chronologically in the grand scheme of memories she was rewriting. All these memories really required was touching up on some specific details to make them seem more legitimate, what turns he had taken, people he had met, all recreated without his companions at his side or on his mind.

Once these small fixes were complete, she had to decide on what to do next. She had quite a list of choices: Traverse Town, Deep Jungle, Olympus Coliseum… her wrist ached as she went down through the names. It was the moments like these, when the sheer amount of work on her shoulders weighed heavy, that made her consider betrayal in the first place. It would be so much easier to make up her own story for him, something short and sweet and simple, his loss of strength be damned, but it made sense they wouldn’t allow her this indulgence without her destruction. Sora, and by extension his power, was a precious prize, she would have to pay their price before she could steal that away. 

In the end she decided to go with Traverse Town, reasoning she should start at the beginning and move forward from now on, since jumping around random worlds might end up confusing Sora, and because she figured it would be nice for him to remember more about how his key had come to his hands.

At the very least it was pleasant to draw, she liked the way the soft blues and neon lights contrasted each other, even if replacing all the people he had met here was quite a headache. All of them had explained all the strange new things he had seen, given him purpose on his journey; there were only so many she could replace with faceless passers by where it would make sense. So she had to resort to making it seem like the rest came naturally, as he figured out the business with the keyholes and gummi-ship travel all alone.

It wasn’t the most believable, but it would work. Besides, he trusted his memories more than he probably should anyway, a little strangeness would go unnoticed amongst everything else.

The last few hours went smoothly, getting around halfway through the basic parts of her story before her head and her wrist needed to stop for the day. She packed all the new drawings into their folders and tucked them away in the desk, before extinguishing the candles she had been using for light, and slinging her coat and bookbag around her shoulders. Despite her exhaustion and frustrated ruminating, a smile found its way onto her lips. She had nearly forgotten; she got to see Sora again now. The thought of him never failed to lift her spirits, ignite the infant light in her. All of it was for him, and it would all be worth it when for every moment of every day, she could be with him.

She took a corridor to the upper hallways of the castle, near his room, but not quite in it yet. Her aim was a little off from how burnt out she was, but she shrugged it off, deciding to walk the rest of the way normally. The halls were dark and silent save for the wind that whistled by the holes and broken windows that sometimes interrupted the dull brown walls. This was a heartless infested place, even if most of the creatures had been pushed out of the building, there was still a lingering dimness that permeated every room, and it's not like they had any kind of lighting installed to remedy this.

These were the reasons she failed to notice Larxene right away, leaning against the cracked door frame of some random room ahead of her.

“So the witch comes out of her hole to see her stupid little puppy. How precious.” She snarked.

Namine jumped at the sudden voice in the darkness, but quickly scowled at her when she caught sight of her cocky smirk.

“What do you want?” She asked coolly.

Larxene shrugged and stretched out as she came off the doorframe.

“Oh nothing much… I was only curious about how your little date went today.”

Namine’s heart skipped a beat, she was speechless. But… hadn’t she? How did she? Larxene laughed.

“Not up for any girl talk? Aw… I’m so disappointed. Although, I’d be pretty embarrassed about ignoring a direct order too, ouch.”

“H... how do you know anything happened?”

“Oh easy; I’m not an idiot, and this place bores me to death. So I found it just a  _ little  _ weird you two were nowhere to be found at lunch. Should interest Marly boy though, he loves gossip about little traitors, I know from experience.”

Sadistic pride was radiating off her, and though fear was still very much something Namine was feeling, anger was quickly joining it at the sight of her ugly smile.

“You can’t prove that, you’re just stirring up trouble.”

“Maybe I am, but maybe I’m not. I guess we’ll just have to see what happens tomorrow. I wonder which one of us has more credibility; me, who helped plan this whole thing up with the guy running the show, or you, a witch with the power of lies. Hmmm, what a mystery.”

She didn’t offer up any goodbyes before vanishing into the darkness, a promise of pain to come. 

Namine… she didn’t know where to begin. It was true, Larxene might hardly be able to prove they had gone anywhere at all today, but if it came to her words against hers, Namine didn’t have much ground to stand on. The only one who trusted her fully here was Sora, and it wasn’t like they viewed him as anything more than a toy or a tool, he couldn’t help her here. 

Then the thoughts stopped.

Or could he?

Her fears receded to a comforting smugness as a plan took form in her head, much like the ones she came up with for hours on end each day. She was silly to keep forgetting about him, about how strong he could be. She may only want him to love her, but who’s to say she couldn’t also use him a little like they did? She was sure he wouldn’t mind.

She finished the journey to his room and set things up, lighting a nice warm fire to combat the cold wind, fixing the bedroll up and arranging the cushions from the furniture in a comfortable nest alongside it.

It didn’t take him long to arrive, run ragged from training later into the night. He didn’t have the energy to give her anything more than a sloppy smile before he all but fell into his blankets. She petted his hair for a while, but as usual, sleep took him before he knew it.

Comfortable, he didn’t stir as she got back to work above him, serenely sowing seeds of incredible violence in his heart, before taking a quiet leave to her own room.


	18. Innocent Hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay wow this one is a doozy, and it's the longest chapter yet! I'm reeeeaaallly happy with how it turned out, and I hope you are too. :)

The morning came the same as it always did, too early, and even if his sendoff to sleep had been lovely for all he knew, he would never make a habit of enjoying its arrival.

Sora woke up stiffly, cold despite the embers faintly glowing a foot from him. He didn’t want to even think about moving, but the rational part of him knew that slacking off after yesterday’s slip up would not go over well. Even still, the temptation of snoozing the day away only grew as he dug himself out from inside his cocoon of blankets and pillows, muscles aching dully at his relentless use of them over the weeks. 

It was an embarrassing struggle to say the least, and it wasn’t over now that he had gotten out of bed. He groaned to no one in particular as he summoned his keyblade, even its faithful shine unwelcome to interrupt his precious sleeping time. At the very least he had an easier time using darkness when he was grumpy, even if it made his skin crawl all the same; a corridor shuddered open to him quickly, and he clambered through to the central room of the castle.

He wasted no time shoving unappetizing food in his mouth, before making his way over to the unofficial arena his mornings called home.

As always, Larxene was there, but surprisingly so was someone else: Namine. As he stepped out of his corridor, they both turned to face him, apparently having been engaged in conversation, and a heated one at that. They had been staring each other down with unsettling expressions, hateful rage and… what looked to be an almost sadistic smug smirk, but strangely, they were wearing the wrong ones. Larxene could look angry without him batting an eye, that wasn’t out of the question; but to see his friend mirror his opponent’s usual cruelty was jarring, and a little upsetting. Luckily he didn’t have to worry about it long as they noticed his arrival.

Namine grinned sweetly at him, abruptly ignoring Larxene all together.

“Sora!” She called, walking over. “How did you sleep?”

“Uh… fine I guess. What are you doing here?” He asked. He would always welcome seeing her, but this was a strange place to do it.

“Oh, I wanted to cheer you on today, that’s all. You always seem so tired after sparring, I want to see you in action.”

Sora was taken aback by that, and a little embarrassed too. True, he was better than he was when they had first started, he could hold his own, but that wasn’t exactly the most impressive feat to see. Besides, he thought, eyeing the other person across the terrace, making him look weak in front of his friend sounded exactly like the kind of thing Larxene would love to do. Particularly today, if her furious gaze told him anything, this would not be fun for him, for whatever reason.

“W-well, I don’t think I’ve really got much to show you.” He laughed nervously, scratching at his head and turning his attention back to Namine.

She only shrugged, her smile not shaken.

“You will, don’t worry. I believe in you.”

She gave him a short hug before trotting off to the sidelines, taking a seat on a large hunk of rubble. Grateful for her kindness, and eager to prove her right, he nodded before turning and falling into his combat stance, key in hand.

Over his shoulder, Namine turned her smile sinister again, leering at Larxene, egging her on. She only growled in response, flicking her kunai into her grip.

Sora wasn’t sure what had gotten her so pissed off today, and he quickly got the feeling that he didn’t want to, as he ducked around her already relentless swipes. He was able to counter most of them out of sheer practice, but she was hitting  _ hard _ today, spraying sparks wherever the weapons clashed. The blades squealed in protest as they ground together. The lighting was downright vicious, lashing out with bolts as sharp as the knives, sending shocks into his arms even as he blocked and evaded.

Knowing he would have to make some sort of offensive move, he rolled as far away as he could get, racking his brain for a spell to ease the onslaught. If only because of the endless repetition the previous night, bind came to mind, but before he could even start focussing enough for that, she was on him again. He settled for just taking swings at her instead if she was going to be difficult about it, but even these hardly made more of a difference. Even when his hits made occasional contact with her, she didn’t seem to care, ignoring any pain for the sake of causing him more.

The tides were already turning, no matter how he tried. His cures were becoming desperate, his dodges seconds late, his blocks sloppy, and he was ashamed. Not much of a show after all. A particularly ill-timed roll was interrupted by a powerful shock to his back, and he couldn’t help but cry out as his weapon was thrown from his hand by his spasms.

Usually the loss of his weapon marked defeat, therefore the end of the match, where Larxene would call him an idiot and leave him be. So to say he was surprised and scared to find the knives still coming at him would be an understatement. He yelped as he desperately rolled over to avoid their stabs, but he was utterly unequipped to continue to weather the blows. He screamed in confusion, trying to understand what was going on, what would get her to stop.

Fortunately he wouldn’t have to worry about that, as Namine finally forced the bloody images in her drawings into his consciousness.

It was only a split second for everyone else, but for Sora it was something else entirely. The memories, carefully restrained and hidden in his heart, came undone all at once, assaulting him with scenes of pure evil he was helpless to stop. Larxene was hurting Namine in terrible ways, the images flew by too quickly for him to even fully process them all, drowning burning choking stabbing bleeding starving crying- pain the only thing to unite them all. His heart  _ burned _ with a rage so familiar and alien at the same time, so all consuming and yet so justified. He had failed to protect her. It was anguish. Protect Namine. He needed to save her, he needed to keep the promise, to get revenge, justice, anything,  _ please-! _ .

He blinked, and he was something new.

Larxene smiled with pure malice, intent on kicking the witch’s little puppy until they were both housebroken. His rolling had turned into panicked flinching, entirely too little to defend him from her attacks. Bleeding cuts were blooming all over his arms and face, and if his whimpering was anything to go by, she had won. 

Then he vanished.

Darkness devoured him from his place on the ground, quick as a flash, and she could only splutter incredulously before the blunt teeth of a keyblade were whacked against the small of her back.

The force of the blow was more than anything the brat had ever managed to pull off, even at the castle; she stumbled forward, gasping in pain. Even still, she regained her footing fairly quickly, darting around to face him, to make him pay for that, and everything else.

She couldn’t care less about how he was feeling usually, unless it would be amusing to her, but even she could see that something was off about him. He was usually so prissy about using darkness, he whined about how it felt all the time, and could hardly keep himself from cringing whenever he had to use it if her talks with Marluxia were anything to go by.

It was practically radiating off of him in thick inky clouds, and while he certainly didn’t look like he was enjoying himself, his expression was not one of his light’s mild discomfort. He was crying, fat tears gushing down his face, mouth twisted with unknowable pain, the pain of losing his very heart. His eyes too, they were downright unfamiliar, hollow golden pits. He held his key out strongly in front of him, paying no mind to the numerous dripping wounds on his arms.

So this was the threat she was going to make, huh? Using her little boy toy? Who would’ve thought she’d stoop so low?

“Jeez, you know you don’t have to be such sore losers. Crying about-”

She was interrupted by the scent of death flooding her lungs. Immediately she coughed, tried to stumble away only to find her legs immobilized by thick thorny vines. Billows of almost black smog drifted up from below her, choking and oppressive, and she could not help it as she gagged and retched. She thrashed, trying to pull herself free, but the vines hadn’t stopped, wouldn’t stop. They continued creeping upwards, locking her arms to her sides, impervius to her blind slices.

Sora said nothing as he allowed the spell to continue, all the while preparing another. Darkness held him steady, his only comfort. It’s tendrils numbed any physical pain he had felt, and put a soft mask over the anguish knotting in his heart. The only thing it let him focus on was making her hurt.

The dim flares of a dark firaga flew from his keyblade in volley after volley, crashing into the weakly struggling form of Larxene.

He wasn’t able to think, to even consider that he could kill her, that he shouldn’t do that yet, but lucky for him there was someone nearby who could do all that for him.

All at once everything stopped, white chains yanking the awful false memories back into their hiding place in his heart, locking them tight where he could no longer see them. With this ugly motivation gone from his head, the darkness around him dissipated, uninterested, leaving him to fall to his knees, thoughts foggy and far away.

Namine was next to him in an instant, soothing him down from such an unpleasant experience in any way she could. He still was rather out of it, which was to be expected, but she murmured reassurances to him all the same. In the end she cast a cure on him, followed by sleep, just to get him out of the way for the time being, but she promised him she would make double sure to scrub any memories of what had transpired here from his heart. He didn’t deserve to know about any of this unpleasantness.

However, there was someone who would remember, should remember all of this. Namine’s pleasant demeanor withered to cold satisfaction, as she laid Sora down gently and turned her attention to Larxene, who was only now managing to crawl onto her knees after the spells had stopped. 

“I hope that was a decent demonstration,” She said softly. “...I’m sure you wouldn’t want another example.”

When she met her eyes, she finally saw what she wanted; fear, alongside anger and a whole mess of other things sure, but it was enough. Enough to say she had  _ won _ .

“M… monster…” Larxene accused with a wheeze.

“Hmm, I am, aren't I? Maybe you should keep your mouth shut then, and stay out of my way.”

\-----------------------------------------------

Sora woke up, confused but content. He blinked his bleary eyes, looking around only to find himself staring into Namine’s, sidled right up next to her. It was a little surprising to find himself so close to her, but he made no move to pull away as a blush came to his cheeks.

“What happened?” He asked.

She laughed and looked at him knowingly.

“Well you were telling me all about how you beat Larxene this morning, and then you went and dozed off on me!” She teased.

That was right, he had actually… won. Pride swelled in his chest as he recalled his hard earned victory; finally managing to knock the kunai from her hands with a final swing of his keyblade.

"Hey! I’m tired after all that. You know I’ve never done it before, it wasn’t exactly a piece of cake.”

“Yeah yeah, I know. It was pretty incredible, her face was priceless.” She conceded, smiling at the memory of Larxene's weak and pained glower, one that Sora would see as nothing but a petulant little scowl.

“Haha, yeah. Well hey, maybe I’ll get that lucky again sometime, probably not though.” He said, reclining back.

“Oh nonsense, I’d say you’re well on your way to getting on her level, and we haven't even finished restoring your memories yet!”

“You really think so?”

“I know so.”


	19. An Off Chance in Storage

_ rebooting… 100% complete _

_ restarting... _

He was aware, something he hadn’t expected to ever experience again.

After she broke him, he figured they would just dispose of him, since there wouldn’t really be a point to keeping him around, and he tried to convince himself that he had resigned himself to it. Was that what had happened? Was there an afterlife? For something like… him? Would the universe be that kind?

Most probably not, he figured once he took in where he was, disappointing but predictable.

As always.

Riku was somewhere dark, musty, and cold. His whole body felt far away and stiff, difficult to move; and when he did manage to get it to respond, it would crack and pop in a very unsettling way. Though, even beyond his own bodily issues, his movement was limited by something else too; something was loosely draped across him- no, around him? Some kind of rough fabric cocoon. He shoved against it with disjointed jerks, but it didn’t give way. Frustrated, and suddenly aware of a mounting claustrophobic anxiety in him, he thrashed as much as he could, accomplishing nothing but getting himself more worked up.

Fortunately, his panicking was a viable solution for once, since there was only one thing he could think to do, if only on instinct. If there was one thing he had learned in his short life at Castle Oblivion, it was to lash out when he was hurt, so lash he did, Soul Eater ripping through the weak material of the duffel bag like it was tissue paper.

Gasping for air he didn’t need, he sat up and threw the remains of the fabric off of him, clambering into a weak combative stance as soon as he was able, on shaking, stiff legs. His eyes darted around the room like a cornered animal.

Being able to see didn’t clear anything up at all.

He was in a cramped brown room, dark and weathered walls on every side. Several sacks and boxes were stacked up around him, largely featureless and utterly unhelpful in getting his bearings. All he had known was the blinding white of Castle Oblivion, and flashes of low effort memories at the Destiny Islands, nothing ever like this.

Still not dropping his guard, he took stock of the few things that he knew that could determine what he should do next. He remembered being taken by Larxene to the White Room, the highest point in the castle, assumedly for some kind of meeting regarding what their plans were for the future, for him. Instead of conversation, it was silence as Namine approached him. He had wanted to both run as far away as he could from her, and cradle her in his arms forever, unsafe but falsely familiar; terrifying. 

There had been no fanfare, no warning, she just shattered him. She wasn’t even careful, she didn’t use any drawing to ease the blow or keep his memories alive, simply allowing them to flutter off like paper in the wind as the chains holding his heart together snapped.

He winced at the memory, and tried to put it out of his mind, but before he could he realized; why could he remember that at all? Remember anything? Any starting off points he had were gone, should have been gone; leaving him as nothing but a limp synthetic corpse, yet here he was, thinking, feeling,  _ being _ . His eyes widened. He breathed.

The surprise did not end there, as he noticed that the memories didn’t stop; he remembered them talking over his body, shoving him in the bag, he could recall being left in dusty darkness for almost a month with every detail intact, an inhuman level of detail.

It would have been strange if he didn’t also remember that he wasn’t human, a fact he loathed that had saved him in the end.

His thoughts were clearer than he ever remembered them being, without her messing with him, experimenting on him, they were pure and analytical and far too perfect. Just as Vexen had intended.

The answer was given to him before he could even ask the question; data. 

His heart had come from data scraped off of the original Riku as he fought through Castle Oblivion. Data could be manipulated into any shape, any function, warped beyond recognition; and yet, it did not ever fully forget. Nothing could never completely erase what was recorded in the depths of his false heart, not unless they destroyed it permanently, something they had clearly overlooked.

For the first time in far too long, Riku felt in control.

He wasn’t sure what he would do, what he could or should do with this knowledge that could be taken from him in an instant if he wasn’t careful. All he knew was that now he had a chance to do something, something that he was sure was his own idea, not hers. It was exhilarating, a shred of independence he’d never been granted.

Unfortunately, he didn’t get long to consider anything before an all too familiar rushing noise whispered out from behind him. Stiff joints be damned, he tried to be fast; snatching the ruined bag from its place on the ground and ducking behind some crates, cringing as his body sang out in a symphony of snaps and pops.

He didn’t dare try to peek at who it was, heart thrumming in his ears as their footsteps padded gently behind him. 

If he was found they would destroy him, he knew that; if not physically than surely mentally, they would not make an error like this again. Pure fear was all he could feel, holding him tense and quiet. He listened; there was the sound of fabric rustling, the creak of a box being pushed aside, and he nearly jumped out of his skin when a loud crash shortly followed it. Whoever it was softly cursed before shuffling around a bit more and then taking their leave.

He didn’t move for several minutes, paranoid that they would be there still, that they were just toying with him, letting him think he’d won before ripping it all away. Even still, coming out of hiding was a slow and steady process, inching across the floor on feet that would not stop cracking.

When he finally allowed himself to believe he was safe, his previous train of thought resumed. Again he was faced with the infinite choices of his own decision, though now the danger he was in was clear as day, tainting the unbridled joy with fear… and anger.

The more he considered them as a threat, the more he wanted to be rid of them. They were stopping him, putting limits on what he could and couldn’t do with even just their presence, just like they always had. He could never be safe with them here, or anywhere; they would find him.

They had made him this way, used him, thrown him out, given him nothing; even less than they had as nobodies. They had no sympathy for his plight, similar as it was to theirs, and Namine- she in particular was to blame. She had shuffled his reality haphazardly and constantly, not caring for how confused and miserable it made him, not letting him comprehend who or what he was before forcing him to be someone new.

All to get to Sora, someone he knew next to nothing about, one pawn to take another.

His fist clenched tightly around Soul Eater, blue tinged dark wisps blooming off the blade, knuckles snapping uncomfortably.

That was it then, his first independent choice: he would destroy them and be free, a parody of their own twisted plans. It would be revenge and freedom, or destruction, a risk to be sure, but one that would be worth it. Even still, he knew that he would have to play this smart, lest he waste this incredible chance he’d been given, so he decided he would go for the jugular straight away.

He wondered how Sora was doing.


	20. Strange Old Rivals

Sora was bored, something uncommon since he arrived at the hideout, but unwelcome all the same; he could only waste so much time by just sleeping, he wanted to  _ do _ something. His usual activities had been forgone for the sake of some meeting everyone was at, leaving him to wander all alone in the vast drafty halls. Not even Namine could keep him company, sorry as she was for that. He didn’t see a reason for them not to invite him, and he couldn’t deny that it was frustrating to have been left out of the loop about stuff again, but it wasn’t like he could argue with them, they never gave him the chance to.

So he ambled in and out of rooms, absently jumping on furniture and climbing up collapsed parts of the building. He did technically have something to do, work on drawing things he could remember in this little book Namine had given him, but he could hardly focus on that for long before he got restless. The constant sparring and movement were tiring sure, but hustle and bustle was where he felt most comfortable at the end of the day, so it was difficult to settle down on anything for too long. Still, he didn’t want to disappoint her, so he brought it along with him as he explored.

He did find somewhere interesting to waste time at least; a large interconnected stack of broken stone rooms, spread down the one lower side of the muddy dark base of the fortress. He didn’t know what kind of purpose a structure like this would’ve served back before it fell into disrepair, but for him it was a pretty impressive, if dangerous, fort.

It was really fun to see where all the little tunnels lead, and there were a bunch of cool spots to jump and swing between with all the busted outcroppings and bent pipes, especially with high jump and the new air dashes he had been learning in magic training. He smiled, thinking about how it would’ve made an excellent place to play hide and seek, maybe even that hunting game that… someone… always used to beat him at. The memories were still a little warped and fuzzy, but it was nice and very nostalgic to think of the islands, he couldn’t wait to go back once this was all over. For all it’s wonder and adventure, he did miss home underneath it all, and he was sure Namine did too.

Pulling himself upwards onto a crumbly rock perch, he let out a sigh. He dangled his legs out over the open air, quite a few metres up, admiring the epic and ugly mess of a world below him. 

The brown dirt and grey stone abruptly collapsed down into a huge dark pit of violet terrain that surrounded the ruined castle like a moat. At the bottom there were writhing black spots where the exiled heartless had taken up residence at the loss of their castle home, and around all that there were jagged purple cliffs and hills dotted with shiny blue lumps. It was still midday, which meant it was pretty bright out, but even still, the darkness of this world made everything seem dimmer in a way he couldn’t really pinpoint, like it leeched out of the entire place.

Kind of a dump, but he had gotten used to it already, fond of it in a haphazard way.

He took the little sketchpad out of the pocket of his coat and doodled the landscape as best he could. He didn’t have any colours like Namine did, just the pencil, and his lines were always crooked, though, he didn’t try super hard to make them neat. If he couldn’t make them good, he would be satisfied to make them funny, exaggerating lines in nonsensical ways and giving things ugly leering faces. He snorted slightly looking down at the particularly stupid looking chunk of rock he had personified, with huge stick-out teeth and stringy thin hair. At least drawing mountains and buildings was easier than people, he thought, flipping through his past attempts. She had told him the pictures were for his own benefit, just so he could keep track of everything, but he couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed that she had seen the one he had made of him and her and…

He stopped and stared at the smudged pencil face, obviously no one he knew, even keeping in mind his limited artistic ability. They had pale hair, and he had drawn them with a larger build than himself, but other than that there wasn’t much. He struggled to try and put a name to the face, but predictably nothing came up. He must have forgotten about whoever this was, not an uncommon occurrence nowadays; so he figured he could just ask Namine when she got back and she could fix it. Something stopped him from moving on though; this realization was different from the others. He frowned and inspected the picture more closely.

Hadn’t he drawn this after he already forgot everything? It was after he reached the top of the castle, he had stopped forgetting things once he reached that point, right? There wasn’t anyway he could think to reason it out; the moment stuck out like a sore thumb amongst his other memories. While most of them were blurry and almost dreamlike, this one he could see in complete detail; it was from Castle Oblivion, in the bedroom Axel had taken him to before the meeting. So wouldn’t he have known about who this was? Why would he draw somebody he couldn’t remember, how did he even manage to do that? 

Sora was so lost in thought that he didn’t hear the faintly crackling footsteps creeping up behind him. What he did notice was the hard thump of a boot against his back, launching him off the ledge to the ground below.

He almost didn’t get his bearings in time, barely managing to summon his keyblade and cast aero to break his fall. It seemed Larxene’s relentless training regiment was paying off, though he would never tell her that.

Once he was safely on the ground, he fell into a combat stance and turned to face his assailant. 

A boy leapt gracefully down from the perch, his descent slowed by some unfamiliar magic. He was clad in a jumpsuit, black and bright violet in the pattern of veiny skin, with a harsh red heartless symbol stamped on his chest. He had white hair that hung to his shoulders, with bangs that nearly covered his bright green eyes; eyes that were staring coldly through him.

“Who are you? What’s your deal?” Sora asked warily, thoroughly weirded out. Was this a heartless? Hadn’t they all been cleared off castle grounds? It looked like a person, was that even possible?

The boy said nothing, raising his arm as a wicked looking sword materialised in his grip. His stone expression broke slightly into a smile, and that was all the warning Sora had.

He jumped forward aggressively, not as fast as Larxene but a lot less predictable. Sora blocked most of his strikes, but he kept getting behind him before he could turn; slicing across his back painfully if he didn’t dodge in time. He retaliated with swings of his own, catching the stranger in the side or on the leg whenever he dodged too late, but it was slow going, he didn’t seem to care when he got hurt, never slowing down regardless. Aero was still circling Sora faithfully though, something that was certainly giving him an edge, just like Marluxia said it would. While his opponent may not flinch, he would get hurt all the same, the wind slicing at him whenever he got too close paired nicely with the keyblade.

It wasn’t long before the stranger’s cold demeanor fell away, becoming panicked as he lost more and more ground. He got sloppy, slower, weaker, and Sora hardly stumbled. He backed off, opting to fling glowing rings of dark magic off his blade at a longer range, but this change of strategy did not save him; Sora leapt high to avoid them, and shot back to him with an aerial dodge, slamming down on him hard with the keyblade.

The boy staggered backwards, falling to his one knee with a pained hiss. He was clearly exhausted beyond the point of continuing, but all the same he dragged himself back up into a pathetic hunched attempt at a battle stance.

Sora approached him slowly, weapon still in hand, but not with the immediate intention to use it. The stranger tensed and glared at him, his eyes wild and scared. He took a weak swipe with his sword, but it glanced off the keyblade with ease, leaving him to fall to the ground again, right at Sora’s feet.

“Stop! Please, why are you doing this?!” He asked, confused and upset.

The boy kept his head down, panting and shaking in an effort to get up. Sora was shocked when he saw tears fall from his bowed face, making circular dark spots on the stone under him.

“What’s wrong? You have to talk to me here, I want to help you.”

Nothing but heavy breathing was given for a response.

Sora bit his lip, unsure of what to do with this strange attacker. He was human, not heartless, that was certain now; the heartless did not tire, they only fought and died with nothing in between. They certainly didn’t cry. He could heal him, he wanted to, but there was nothing saying he wouldn’t immediately come after him again, it would go nowhere. This boy was clearly upset with him, but he didn’t even know who he was, let alone how to deal with him. Maybe the others knew, he was sure no meeting could be more important than an intruder, especially one as unstable as this.

“L-look, I’m gonna get some help. You just stay here- or should I take you with me? Can you even walk or-”

He was interrupted by a grip on his ankle, unsteady but tight. The boy had grabbed him.

“No, you can’t.” He finally choked out words. His voice was raw and scratchy.

“Why not? Why did you attack me?”

“H… had to. You help them, they’ll kill me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Marluxia, Larxene, Axel, Namine.” He almost spat the names.

Sora was shocked, quick to defend his allies.

“No, no they wouldn’t kill you for no reason. Unless…”

He stepped back out of the boy’s reach, suspicion rising in him.

“Do you work for Xemnas? Organization Xiii?”

He managed to drag himself onto his knees, though not without his body making some pretty horrible popping noises. He gazed at Sora with stormy, puffy eyes, pleading and proud all at once.

“No. I don’t care about any of that.”

Sora dropped his guard slightly.

“Then… why are you here?”

The boy laughed, a bitter sound.

“Wouldn’t I like to know?”


	21. Troubles Ahead

The room’s atmosphere was tense; free to be who they were and want what they wanted, even as those goals and hopes clashed. 

Maybe it wouldn’t have bothered her so much if she hadn’t taken such a gamble with their trust, hinging on the pride and fear of such a treacherous woman, but it was too late to take anything back. She made this bed, and she would die on it.

Namine sat back in her chair, regarding the rest of the room cooly in an attempt to disguise her apprehension. The others sat around in mismatched chairs, gathered in the room in the highest tower for a meeting.

Marluxia sat at the highest point he could, as usual; presiding over them from a tall orange chair, a condescending smirk on his lips. His presence demanded respect, but to such a degree that it was slightly pathetic, begging to be seen as in control of it all. For the moment he was, she thought, for the moment.

Larxene was also taking up her usual role, ever the right hand lady, sat not too far from Marluxia in a slight slouch. So far she had kept quiet, but it was plain to see she was  _ angry _ . Namine could not stop glancing at her, and every time she did she saw the same ruthless bitterness waiting for her. She would not be put in her place so easily, she should’ve known that, but it needed to be done all the same, for Sora’s sake and her own, so all she could do was hope every moment was not the one she chose to take her revenge.

Then there was Axel, arriving last, strolling in from a corridor with a huge bag in his hands. He was different from any of the others here; most similar to  _ her _ in a way that felt so strange to think about. Axel’s heart had come from his desire to be with his best friend; Roxas, and this was the reason he sought to overthrow Xemnas; to make the Organisation a safer place for him to exist. 

It made perfect sense to her, and it was a much more wholesome reason than Marluxia or Larxene could muster, he cared for Roxas like she cared for Sora, two sides of the same beautiful heart. It was both reassuring and terrifying, because it gave her a sense of camaraderie, regardless of how little the two of them actually interacted, and because she knew now that this desire to have another person be safe and happy could let someone do  _ anything _ , no matter what.

At least he didn’t want to kill her.

Yet.

When he flopped back on his sofa chair, the meeting began.

“Alright Axel, how are things back home?” Marluxia asked.

Axel stretched back and let his bag fall to the floor with a quiet clinking noise.

“Not a whole lot, I’m sure you’re happy about that, but Xion has certainly been making some waves.”

Larxene looked at him with disbelief.

“Really? That’s the highlight or your report? They don’t do anything, worse than Demyx was- or maybe not. At least the newbie knew how to be quiet.”

Axel snorted at that.

“Yeah, I know. It took her a bit, but she’s coming into herself a bit more now. She and Roxas talk quite a bit now, they get paired up all the time. I met her, she’s nice.”

“What did you mean she was “making waves”? You make it sound like she’s perfectly ordinary.” Marluxia asked, slightly irritated at the off topic conversation.

“That’s the thing- she is perfectly normal as a person; it’s other stuff that’s weird. She can’t remember her somebody, but the only other person like that is Roxas, and we’re kinda the reason why he’s like that.”

His relaxed expression suddenly turned more sour.

“The higher ups have really been hounding her too, and they didn’t even give her a type of lesser nobody to control. I figured they’d coddle her since she’s got a keyblade, but apparently not.”

Then he glanced at Namine, completely accidentally, and he stopped; seeming to remember something important. His eyes didn’t leave hers as he spoke.

“Oh yeah and… I think she looks like Kairi.”

The name was so  _ heavy _ . It had so much attached to it, so many people with the list ever growing; infecting everything. She hated hearing it, but she did all the same. It didn’t have as much of an impact on the rest of the room, they didn’t understand what it could do.

“I don’t know why really, cus the spot for her nobody is kind of taken. Just kinda weird, all of it is weird.”

Marluxia cleared his throat loudly.

“While all of this is terribly interesting, I didn’t come here to gossip about who might be who; it doesn’t seem like it matters to our cause. Do they suspect anything? Are they stronger or weaker in any way? This is what I wanted to know.” He said.

“No, I don’t think they know anything. If they do they’re hiding it well.” Axel answered.

“They’re about the same otherwise. I told you; not a whole lot to say. Oh-”

He kicked the bag forward to the center of the room, a book and some small computer parts slid out on it’s way there.

“...I also managed to pick up some more of the data we got at Castle Oblivion. Not a whole lot since Xemnas wanted whatever was left there, but I managed to sneak some and make copies of some things I couldn’t get. It’s mostly Vexen and Zexion’s stuff with the replica and whatever, but I figured it would be useful to keep since we’re the ones who have him.”

“Okay then, I’ll look it over to see if there’s anything important. I doubt we’ll use the replica again but it’s better to be prepared I suppose. That’s all then?”

“Yeah pretty much.”

“Well, if everyone else is satisfied with that, then I think we can get on with it. Namine, how are things going with Sora? He seems to be regaining strength faster than I expected.”

She nodded, hands folded in her lap clenched tighter than they seemed. She did not look at Larxene.

“I’m making progress, but I’ve hardly finished. I’m not even halfway.”

“He is stable?”

“Yes, I’m checking his heart all the time, it’s getting used to the changes. The other bonds are weakening already, but I think I’m making up for it.” She would not hide her pride at this.

“When do you think he’ll be ready? I want to strike as soon as we can; every day Xemnas gets closer to Kingdom Hearts.”

“It’s hard to say. I’ve been going world by world; each one takes about a week if I’m not being super detailed. I’m on the third of around ten, and I should take another week to do touch ups so it all goes smoothly.”

Evidently this was not the answer he wanted, Marluxia frowned.

“Work as quickly as you can. I know this will take time to make perfect, but maybe that won’t be viable if the time comes too soon. Do the most important memories first so we maximize his strength if we go in with him unfinished.”

“Y-yes. I can do that.” Her voice shook slightly and she hated it, but nobody acknowledged it. Nobody she would look at anyway.

“Good.”

The rest of what they talked about was of little interest to her, just more drama about organization members she did not care about, so her own thoughts took her attention. The daunting task of completing the memories made her want to go to sleep forever every time she heard about it, she was already run ragged from the little dent she had made, and they wanted her to go faster. Her wrist had developed such an ache from the workload already that it followed her everywhere, but there wasn’t any other option. She wanted to be needed, and this was what they needed her for, what Sora needed her for. She had wanted this, she did want it, and now she had to prove that.

There would be rest soon enough, she told herself, the two of them in his simple daydreams, she had done a third of it already. Dividing the time up in different ways made it seem smaller somehow. A little more than two months, less if she was fast. That’s all. 

She looked up to see them leaving, corridors snatching them from their chairs. At least this was done with. She got up to leave as well, looking to put the coat on before making her own corridor, but before she could a jolt of blinding electricity struck the ground just ahead of her. She wasn’t able to stop herself from yelping pathetically, embarrassed when she met the furious eyes boring into her.

Larxene didn’t say anything, uncharacteristically quiet, regarding her with an unsettling calm fury. She made no move beyond the initial bolt, simply staring at her pointedly for a few seconds before she vanished like the rest.

Right.

This would be a much longer two months than any of them would know.


	22. Strange New Friends

His name was Riku, and he was strange.

These were the things Sora had quickly understood when conversing with the newcomer, who insisted on talking in one of the cramped halls in the broken stone stacks, paranoid of someone finding them together. He still didn’t believe that the others would kill him since he hadn’t done anything against them, even as he said it over and over, but he heard him out. He had fought too desperately to be ignored.

“I’m telling you; for both our sakes you’ve gotta leave. You’re trapped here, have you noticed that?” He said.

For what felt like the millionth time Sora rolled his eyes,

“I can’t just leave them, they need my help. I could help you leave though if you’re so worried about it.”

Riku scoffed and shook his head, neck cracking. Sora wondered if it hurt; he had healed him but the noises continued.

“You just proved me right. Whether or not you want to leave has nothing to do with the fact that you can’t just walk out of this. They wouldn’t let you and you know it.” 

He sat up from his place against the wall, stretching his arms. He was surprisingly nonchalant, a contrast from the terror he had felt mere minutes before.

“You don’t even really want to stay, she just made you think that.”

Sora blinked.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh you won’t believe me about this either: Namine changed your memories so you’ll do whatever she wants.”

That struck a particularly volatile chord in Sora, one he would not know was familiar.

“She did not! Of course I’ll do things she wants; she’s my best friend, she wouldn’t do that to me!” He retorted.

Riku wasn’t phased by the outburst, which only made Sora more frustrated.

“How do you know that, did your memories tell you? I know it sounds impossible to you, unthinkable even, she has her claws in you more than she ever did me; but it’s true. She did the same thing to me before they had enough of me.”

“What are you even- that doesn’t make any sense! She’s trying to help me fix my memories, why would she mess them up on purpose? Without them I’m weaker, and she wants me to be stronger.”

“Because she’s lying. Just do something for me, before you get all pissed off; try and think of any bad memories you have of her.”

Sora wanted to argue more, offended for his friend, but he couldn’t really stop himself from doing what Riku said. The memories flashed in his head, beautiful and colourful and eager to be seen. They were always together; playing games, laughing, talking. Dreamlike perfection.

“What does that have to do with anything?” 

“So you couldn’t think of any. Isn’t that a little weird? In the entire history of your friendship and you didn’t fight once? Nobody got hurt or sad or angry? All sunshine and smiles; it’s perfect, isn't it?”

Something clicked. He hated to even entertain the thought of it, but… it was a little strange.

Before he could consider it he shook his head. No no, there had to be some other explanation. They had just never fought. Things seemed perfect because they were, he knew that.

The seeds of doubt were planted all the same, and Riku smiled almost sympathetically.

“I know you aren’t gonna be able to just take that at face value and go with it, like I said, it happened to me. I just want you to be aware, that's the first step in getting out of this. Don’t go and get caught knowing though, otherwise I’ll have to come tell you all over again, and I don't think I'd survive that.”

“I… I don’t…?”

His head was starting to hurt. Riku seemed to sense that he had pushed hard enough, his strange smile fading back to his usual suspicious frown.

“Look, I’ll drop it for now, it’s kind of a lot, but I seriously need you to be careful. If they didn’t want me gone before, they sure would if I tattled on Namine to her “best friend”. Just promise me that.”

“I…” 

Sora didn’t want to believe it, and who was he to trust a stranger, an intruder, over his best friend? Still, he couldn’t just throw him to the wolves. He didn’t know why that was, by all accounts a crazed intruder should be reported to whoever was in charge, but he just… couldn't. Something about him was magnetic in a way he couldn’t ignore, made him want to trust him, sad to see him hurt, wishing to see him smile the same way he wished for Namine; the very person he accused of doing awful things. Riku clashed with everything he knew, completely on purpose, and it gave him a headache that somehow felt  _ right _ .

“I promise.”

The words came out before he could do anything about it.

Riku let out a breath neither of them knew he’d been holding. He sighed before stiffly getting to his feet.

“Okay, so I’m not dead after all; cool. Alright Sora, we’ll pick this up some other time.”

He started walking back further into the tunnels.

“Wh-? Where are you going?”

He stopped.

“I honestly have no clue. I can’t stay out in the open though.” He paused for a moment. “Maybe… I’ll hide in this place. Nobody else comes here, right?”

Sora shrugged.

“I don’t know, this is the first time I’ve been.”

Riku pursed his lips, before turning and starting to walk again.

“I’ll figure something out. Don’t look for me, I’ll come to you when I can. And Sora?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Don’t be stupid.”

With that he was gone, around a corner to somewhere.

Sora didn’t know what to do. He had barely gotten used to how everything worked now, just beginning to finally trust everything, and now it was just like it was when he started. He wanted to be angry, just a little, but that wasn’t happening. He couldn’t describe the feeling, it was desperate and upsetting and unlike anything he knew that he knew. His world had been shaken up so easily by a stranger, in so little time, where could he even go from here? 

In the end he continued his wandering, though this time with a lot less vigour. He left the stacks, reasoning that if Riku was going to hide here he couldn’t stay and draw attention to it, instead making his way back inside and ambling through the lower halls of the castle. There wasn’t any joy in it now, just a cool unease. It was colder here than the rest of the castle, and it smelled more like dirt than ash. The rooms were all brown brick and dull stone, almost nothing to distinguish them except their varying degrees of decay.There was nothing to distract him, nobody to reassure him that they were honest, that his thoughts were truly his. Nobody but himself, and he was a terrible liar.

His feet carried him on habit, leaving him in the central room with no real direction. He considered climbing the stairs, but he didn’t really want to explore anymore. In the end he wound up sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall just below the windows and staring up at them. Was he trapped here? He had gone with Namine to Wonderland, but that had really been the only time he had gone anywhere, and that had to be kept secret or they’d get in trouble, so it was clear he wasn’t supposed to leave. It was for their safety, that’s what he’d been told, and it made sense- actually all the concerns Riku brought up had fairly easy explanations if he tried, but his words stuck with him all the same.

The desperation in their fight, panic as he lost, it had been unsettling.

“Oh there you are! Jeez, all that looking just for you to be here?”

He was thrown from his thoughts abruptly, unsure of whether to be grateful or scared of the distraction. Did they know? It felt like everyone knew, like “GUILTY” was stamped on his forehead.

Axel approached him from the fading remains of a corridor, stopping a ways in front of him before placing his hands on his hips, looking at him expectantly.

“Oh uh… hi.” Sora said, much meeker than he intended.

“Ah well, I guess nobody really told you to stay put, wasn’t your fault. Still, I didn’t turn this place inside out for no reason, you’re training with me tonight, Marly’s busy.”

Sora blinked. Axel’s wry grin fell slightly at his lack of enthusiasm.

“Oh come on, look a little excited! I’ll make it interesting don’t worry.”

With a flourish he summoned one of his chakrams, twirling it rapidly around his fingers while sparks flew off it. Sora flinched, used to Larxene’s methods, but he was pleasantly surprised when all he did was spin it idly, holding his other hand out to help him up.

He took it, and was hauled to his feet, before Axel turned to lead him back through another corridor.

“I don’t really know what we’re gonna do, this was kinda shoved on me last minute, but we’ll make it work, yeah?”

Sora nodded, smiling slightly at the long overdue levity of this conversation.


	23. Warm Sparks in Cold Winds

Axel had an infectious warmth about him when he wanted to, infectious enough to at least dampen Sora’s uneasiness. It was surprising after the ruthlessness he had seen at Castle Oblivion, but seeing it now made him feel a little guilty about how angry he had been.

The lesson was off the cuff, just like he’d been warned. A mix of magic and melee fighting tips that more often than not would end up devolving into conversations. It was one of the most casual times he’d had here, aside from being with Namine of course, and he couldn’t say he wasn’t enjoying it.

Still, he would not let himself relax completely; his trust in all of them was shaken, no matter how much he tried to ignore it. His smiles did not fully reach his eyes, but it’s not like anyone would really notice.

“It’s a lot of wrist, see?” Axel said, sending his chakrams spinning off to hit one of his assassin nobodies before they returned to him.

“Your wrists are crazy tight, loosen up a little.”

Sora nodded and tried to relax his hands, it felt strange after practicing one way for so long; rushing the creature and giving a hefty swing to it’s torso, sending it flying backwards before it collapsed into thorny magic. He was surprised at how much of a difference that made, it had hit so hard, with a lot less effort on his end. He grinned and looked to Axel, who was smiling knowingly.

“Alright there we go! Better right?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe I never did that before.”

“Well I guess you only just now started actual training with people, don’t sweat it. Just make sure you get all of it memorized, it’ll be easy in no time.”

“You say that a lot.”

He laughed.

“Yeah well, it’s not like anyone ever takes the advice, so I’ve gotta remind 'em all the time.”

He smirked. “Honestly they should thank me, it’s exhausting.”

Sora snorted.

Axel summoned another assassin for them to practice on. Even if he had been assured that they wouldn’t attack without his command, Sora still found them a little creepy. Their bodies made no sense, and the way they moved freaked him out.

“Are you the only one that can make those? I’ve never seen anyone else do it.”

“Nah, almost everyone in the organization can do it, they’ve all got their own flavours of em though. Marluxia and Larxene can do it too, they just don’t want to cus Xemnas would be able to tell, and he’s supposed to think they’re dead, that’s all.”

“What are they?”

“You ask a lot of questions.” Axel looked down at him fondly for a second, seemingly out of nowhere, before continuing.

“They’re nobodies, just weaker ones to help in combat.”

Sora stopped dead, all lightheartedness evaporating.

“Wait, but we’ve just been killing them!”

It took Axel a moment to figure out what had upset him, but when he did he was quick to reassure him.

“Oh no no, they aren’t nobodies like me; there’s no hope of them gaining hearts ever again. They’re just monsters now, like heartless.”

“...That’s awful. Can’t we help them? We can’t just leave them like that!”

Axel ran his hand through his hair, looking down at him apologetically.

“I’m sorry, but no. Nothing can be done with them but have them help us, otherwise they just fade away. All they’ve really got is purpose in serving their superiors, without that, they’re literally nothing. Using them is kinda the only way to help them.”

Sora stared at the creature in front of him, the creature that used to be a person. People he had struck down without even thinking, like it was a dummy and not a living thing. But it wasn’t living, there wasn’t any breathing or blinking, nothing. Without a heart, were they even alive anymore? It didn’t even have a face, the heartless were granted that much.

“Look, I didn’t think you didn’t know. We don’t have to practice on them if it makes you uncomfortable, but trust me, they aren’t people anymore, and they won’t ever be again. They don’t feel pain, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“O… Okay.”

Axel dismissed the nobody. It vanished in the same way they did when they were defeated. Sora wondered if vanishing was the same as dying for them, from the way Axel had phrased it. The uneasiness was back, the strange doubt spewing ugly thoughts about the nature of things here, the nature of the nobodies and how horrible it all seemed to be. He needed to help them if this much awfulness was an everyday thing for them, but at the same time they were so nonchalant about these terrors, Riku’s warnings made him wonder if it was because they were bigger monsters. He had to restrain himself from physically shaking his head again, so adamantly against these ever more intrusive thoughts.

Axel dismissed his weapons and stepped over to him gently, more gently than he had ever seen him.

“Okay okay, how about we take a break. I know you aren’t used to all this stuff with nobodies and hearts and… “ He paused, rethinking whatever it was that he had been about to say. “...this icky stuff. I took it a little far today, so we can stop if you need it.”

“No, I’m fine. I’ve dealt with heartless for a long time, I can do this too! I was just… surprised, that’s all.”

Sora ignored how fast his heart was still beating, and tried to smile. Apparently he was out of practice. Axel stood up and gave him another fond smile, familiar in the way Namine was; comforting in such a confusing and unnamable way. The same way Riku made him feel. What was up with him today? Axel held his hand out again, and Sora let his key vanish so he could take it.

“Hey, if it makes you feel better about it, I want to stop working anyway. I wasn’t calling you weak or anything, you’re good; you just seemed a little stressed with everything is all; which I get. You’ve kinda been stuck with some pretty extreme killjoys for like a month, I know all they talk about is the Xemnas stuff, can get on your nerves, let me tell you. I’ve gotta hear it from them and from the man himself too, gimme a break right?”

It was a forced turn in the conversation, but the warmth was returning, so he would take what he could get.

If only he knew. Thank goodness he didn’t.

“I have a way I like to cool off from it all back home though, when the higher ups get up in my business. Come on, I’ll show you.”

They left the random terrace they had been occupying, stepping out of a corridor onto some sort of platform that was jutting out the side of one tower. It wasn’t as high up as the one in his room, only about half way up instead of at the top, which meant it was a lot less cold, but the sides were much less stable. The stone and twisted metal were crumbling into dust on the edges, and thin cracks crept inwards towards the still decent parts. It was sturdy enough though, as it turned out; Axel flopping down casually on the side, letting his long legs dangle out over the rest of the castle below. Sora followed suit, cautious but at this point used to the decrepit nature of his new home.

  
  
  


They sat for a while in silence, just enjoying the view and the breeze. The tightness in his chest finally let go, after gripping at him the entire day. It was comforting to Sora to know that people as intimidating as Axel liked to do the same mundane things as him; finding staring down at the world to be so reassuring. It was him who broke the silence, looking at the red tinge in the sky beginning to form around the now setting sun.

“Nice, huh? I do this everyday after work with my friends to destress. Works wonders.”

“Yeah, I’ve done it a bit too, with Namine. The view is great from my room.” Sora said, kicking his feet and feeling the winds flow up around his ankles

“Oh no way, beating me to it huh?” Axel mockingly accused. “Guess there's not much else to do though, we should really get some kind of entertainment around here.”

Sora sighed disappointedly.

“I’d like that, but I don’t think Marluxia would. He wants me to focus fully on getting stronger, he’d just think it was just a waste of time.” 

“Well duh, but he’s a buzzkill, he doesn’t get a say on fun stuff.”

“Isn’t he kind of in charge?”

“Yeah yeah, but I’ll figure something out.”

_ “I’ll figure something out, don’t look for me.” _

Sora grimaced and shook his head, blinking hard and clenching his hands tightly to force his mind onto something else.

“Hey! What’s the look for? You don’t believe me?”

“N-no! I was just.. My legs are sore, sorry.”

“Suuuuuure. Tell you what, I can’t stay here long, I’ve gotta report back to the Organization so it’s business as usual, but the next time I check in here I’ll get you something.”

Sora blinked.

“Really?”

“Yeah sure, why not? You’re helping us out a ton here, least I could do to thank you.”

It struck Sora suddenly, the idea that no one had thanked him for… anything. The entire time he was here he’d been doing his best to help these people get a better life, a new life. It wasn’t like a “thank you” was required or anything, he’d be willing to help them no matter what, they needed him, but he wouldn’t say it wasn’t… nice. He smiled genuinely.

“Thanks Axel.”

Axel laughed, resting his hand on his forehead and shaking his head incredulously.

“Jeez, I’d almost think I was talking to Roxas, you know you say “you’re welcome” when  _ I’m _ thanking  _ you _ . Would’ve thought you had that memorized at least.”

“Who’s that?”

“Oh right.” Axel paused again, looking almost guilty before easing back into his usual demeanor. “Well, he’s a friend from the Organization. He’s still figuring out how being a person works, he’s pretty new at it. You remind me of him a little, but that makes sense.”

Sora looked at him slightly confused.

“Maybe you’ll get to meet him someday, I think you’d get along great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was late and I'm sorry about that, but I think I'm gonna have to take a little break from frequent posting. School stuff is taking up a lot of time, and the plot is getting more complicated so I'll need some time to get ahead on it. I'm gonna try to resume the "every other day" thing in no more than two weeks. Sorry that's kinda lame, but I hope you liked the chapter :).


	24. Trials in Patience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for making you wait this long, I'll be posting twice a week from here on out, Mondays and Fridays.

It had been over a month, and nothing had changed. 

He wanted to scream.

Riku was sick of it, sick of it all; the mindless fighting and learning about things he could not care less about, the stuffy basement and the dreary coats, sick of waiting for a day where they could leave that seemed like it would never come.

Sick of being confused and frustrated.

He huffed and rolled over in his cot, shoving his face into the thin pillow, letting his thoughts rant to him.

He just wanted to be with Kairi again, exploring on their own terms now that the worlds were safe, not toiling away under the thumb of some deranged old man. He was lonely despite the company of the others, missing her, missing normalcy, missing autonomy. Although… a part of him argued that maybe it wouldn’t fix it just to go home. There was a gap between where he was and where he wanted to be, no matter how much he tried to put the thoughts out of his head; one that he had created himself, widening with every stupid choice he had made. He hated thinking about this, and he could tell that Ansem loved that he did.

It had all been for her, she has to have known that on some level. She had looked so… dead. Blurry as some of his memories had become; the sight of her lifeless body was crystal clear. He had done what he thought he had to.

He hadn’t known any better, he was sorry, he hoped it was enough that he was trying. It had to be, because that was all he could do.

Everything was fine now, their home was okay, everyone’s was… somehow. The details of his and by extension Ansem’s defeat were vague, only the before and after.

Ansem was trapped within him now, however that had come to pass; only able to project vague feelings to his consciousness that were very easy to tell apart from his own desires, something much different from before. He was in control this time, fully, and he would never give that up again.

He would go home and see her, actually see her with her eyes open and smiling and being alive. He wouldn’t consider the alternatives, couldn’t consider them if he wanted to have any hope at all. He would go back, and make up for it all, and they would pick up where they left off, forget about anything that didn’t matter. The taunting from the prisoner in his heart faded.

His anxiety and resolve melted back to stewing annoyance.

Of course, he couldn’t even begin to start on any of that, since he was stuck in this dump.

He dragged himself out of his cot, noticing that he was alone in the makeshift barracks, apparently the last one to get up today. Diz had given him a few changes of clothes, mostly just simple grey sweats, and there were a few more days when he'd gone shopping with everyone and picked up some slightly more colourful options, but he found himself staring at the clothes he’d arrived in. 

Why not? No one could see it under the coat anyway.

The mansion was falling apart, but it was decent shelter, more so than he had first assumed. The rooms stayed dry for the most part when it rained, only a couple had considerable leaks, and there was some kind of heating system Diz had set up that worked well enough. Alright as a shelter, crappy as a home.

He made his way to the table room, it couldn’t really be called a dining room since it was hardly reserved for meals, but it had that kind of feeling. Donald and Goofy were sitting next to each other, picking over the last bits of their breakfasts, just some toast it looked like.

“Heya Riku!” Goofy greeted, waving warmly at him as he entered.

“Hi.”

“You were sleeping the whole morning away.”

Donald grumped, clearly not happy to be up himself.

“Well no one minded enough to wake me up.” Riku walked across the room to a small fridge and set of cupboards where food was kept. He frowned at the staleness of the bread as he took it out of the bag. They would need to get groceries  _ again _ .

“Well it’s good ya got more sleep, Diz says we’re goin’ hunting for nobodies again today.” Goofy said.

Riku groaned as he closed the fridge, turning to face them with a glass of orange juice in his hand.

“Again? We just went yesterday though.”

“Yeah, he said there was a bunch more of em now though. Can’t just leave em to cause trouble.”

“Why not? Why do we gotta deal with em?” Donald asked suddenly, and Riku found himself agreeing with him.

“Why? Gentlemen I thought we’d been over this.” 

Any cheerfulness that had been in the room vanished when Diz entered. About a week ago Riku had stopped hiding his dislike for him, wearing it plainly on his face. It seemed the others seemed to be reaching the end of their ropes too; Donald would share his scowl more often than not these days, and even Goofy had stopped smiling when he was around. The only one who still seemed to be even remotely on the man’s side was Mickey, but unfortunately he was the one in charge as far as they were concerned.

“Nobodies are as much a plague on the worlds as heartless, we must stamp them out-”

“...before they hurt people, yeah, we know. I haven’t seen any of them even try to do that this whole time.” Riku interrupted, emboldened. The other two seemed surprised, but they made no move to argue with him.

Diz only seemed amused by the challenge to his authority, always amused. His eye would stare out over a shifty grin, dismissing anything anyone said as if they were his servants, children he could boss around. It made Riku incredibly uncomfortable, and angry. Ansem mocked him silently.

“Well then that means you are doing your jobs well. I knew you were capable.”

He was about to continue, but before he could, Mickey popped into the room, giving them all a smile that made any budding rebellion in their hearts slither back down. He only wanted to make good on the favour they’d all been given, that was all, and it was a noble desire, but how far would this have to go? The question rested just beneath the surface of all of them, but it just never seemed like the right time to ask. 

Never until today, at least for Riku.

“So fellas, you ready for another day?” He asked, chipper as ever.

“Yes, Riku was just telling me about how efficient you all have been. I can’t thank you enough for your help.” Diz replied.

The pleasantness in his tone wasn’t genuine, it never was, it reeked of self satisfaction and mockery. Mickey surely had to have noticed that at some point, but either way he responded like there was nothing amiss.

“Oh it’s the least we can do. We’ll take care of 'em, we’ll be done before you know it.”

“Excellent. I’ll leave you to it then.”

With that he left, as quick and with just as little explanation as he had come in with. 

Still frustrated, and still stifled by the presence of someone in charge, albeit in a much more pleasant way, Riku sighed and sat back in his chair, taking another gulp of juice before cramming his slice of stale bread in his mouth. Goofy went back to the last few bites of his breakfast, and Donald settled into a sulk, crossing his arms and glowering down at the table.

Mickey’s smile wavered ever so slightly at their obvious discontent, pulling up a seat across from Riku.

“Are you guys alright?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m just tired.” Riku’s reply came out more gruff than he had intended, but it was really hard to feel bad about it.

“Well maybe we’ll cut today’s mission a little short if you’re not feeling up to it, I’m sure Diz would understand.” Mickey offered.

Donald scoffed.

“Aw phooey, he’ll never give us any kind of break and you know it.” He grumbled.

Mickey was taken aback at the outburst.

“Donald! That’s not true, all we’d have to do is ask.”

He didn’t respond, no one did. None of them could bring themselves to disagree, so silence was the closest thing to it. Mickey’s smile finally fell.

“Well, we have to leave soon, it’s almost noon, but I’ll try to get us some days off for next week, okay?”

“Another week?” Riku asked, disappointed but unsurprised. 

He hesitated. 

Fuck it.

“When are we leaving?”

Mickey sighed, having been dreading this for a long time.

“I don’t really know, whenever the nobodies have been stopped I guess.”

“But uh… we haven’t even made a dent in the ones here, and Diz says there’s all sorts of em all across the worlds. Do you really think we can do this all on our own?” Goofy asked gently.

“We kind of have to. There isn’t anyone else who can.”

“How do you know?” Riku said.

Any playfulness in the room faded. 

“I… I don’t.” Mickey stuttered, flustered.

He hung his head.

“All I know is that we’re here now, and people need help. I can’t just hope someone else will pick up our slack if we leave.”

Again heavy silence was his answer.

“Do all of you… feel this way?” He asked softly.

Riku looked him in the eyes apologetically.

“I see.”

He was quiet, thinking, and they all waited with baited breath to see what he would say.

“I suppose I was being a little presumptuous; I never asked you if you wanted to stay, and I guess I have no right to keep you here. I’ll talk to Diz tonight when we get back, okay?”

“I’m sorry Mickey.”

“No, no, you’re right.”

His wilted posture straightened with resolve and shame.

“I haven’t been thinking about how hard this all might be for you guys, especially since you’re all confused since the castle, and- gosh, I’m the one who should be sorry.”

They were so relieved, and so so guilty, seeing him finally realize. They wanted to help, they really did, but they also missed  _ home _ . It was true they never asked for this, they had paid back what they could for the moment, it needed to be over with. Still, seeing their friend, their king, so ashamed would always hurt, regardless of circumstance.

“Today will be our last day, at least for now. I can come back, you could too if you wanted to, but I won’t make you stay anymore if it’s making you uncomfortable.”

“Mickey?”

He looked up, meeting Riku’s eyes, meeting all of their eyes. Grateful, and oh so sorry that they had gotten their way. What was right by him was not right for everyone, he couldn’t forget that.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

The rest of the morning passed in bittersweet silence, only a few soft words between them here and there, apologies and thanks and soon to be goodbyes. Leaving for the mission was nowhere near as depressing as it usually was, which earned a strange glance from Diz who had grown so used to the misery, but nothing more was said about it. They actually talked and laughed on their walk through the woods, an energy they all had missed for so long, almost as long as Riku had missed-

Sora.

In front of him there was a boy, one he unquestionably knew, with brown hair and bright blue eyes. He looked nervous, angry, confused? Where were they? There was grey stone surrounding them, no trees in sight. Trying to get his bearings made everything blur on the edges of his vision.

“Riku?” Sora asked.

Hearing his voice hurt so bad, he could hardly process why.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

He couldn’t begin to explain it, but words came out regardless.

“Wh- where are you? What happened?”

“Huh? We’re in my room, we have been this whole time, don’t you rememb-”

Sora’s face suddenly fell in horror.

“Is… is this a memory thing?” He whispered.

Riku could feel himself fading, ebbing away into the background. In the last glimpses of his friend, he said what he should have a long time ago.

“I’m sorry.”

He blinked and found himself back on the trail, as if nothing had happened. Everyone was staring at him, concerned. He was alarmed when he felt tears drip off his face, hastily scrubbing them away with the sleeve of his coat.

“Are you okay?” Donald asked.

“I… I think so.”

“What didja mean “I’m sorry”?” Goofy said.

“I don’t know. I just… saw Sora.”

None of them knew what that meant to him now that he thought about it, what it meant to all of them. Even he wasn’t sure; it made him feel so many things, but he couldn’t think of any reason why. The name was familiar and not at the same time, like he was looking at a foggy mirror, knowing what’s there without actually seeing anything more than blurry colours.

“Who’s that?” Mickey asked.

Before he could reply, an all too familiar booming voice rang out over his shoulder. He whirled to see Diz stepping out of the woods, a malicious smile on his lips, eye shining with intent he couldn’t guess beyond the fact that it threatened him.

“An old friend of ours. I’m glad I’ll soon get to meet him, it took long enough.”

It would be longer yet before they’d be done, much longer.


	25. Echoes of Silence

He knew it was coming, but Sora was still sad when Axel left. He had felt so warm and friendly, it left the ruins feeling even more dreary by comparison in his absence. He found it strange how quickly he had grown to like him, they had hardly spoken legitimately before today, maybe two conversations that weren’t taunts spit back and forth at Castle Oblivion; and yet he found that strange feeling again, the one that made Riku’s paranoid warnings seem plausible, an urge to trust beyond what he thought was best. It was concerning to discover such a reckless and powerful feeling, but it had yet to steer him wrong.

Feelings couldn’t lie to him, so he would listen where he could.

It was evening, and there weren’t any other plans he had to follow in terms of training, which left him in a similar situation to before; wandering around empty halls in search of distraction. He didn’t stew on it nearly as long this time though, hunger was as good of a distraction as any, present and anchoring as he stepped back out into the central room.

It was very dim in this room, the skylights were the only source of light during the day, but they were fading fast. The ambient darkness wasn’t exactly helping either, blurring shadows out further than they would normally be, eclipsing the corners completely. He went to the sack on the table, disappointed again to find dried bits of meat and fruit leather under his fingers, but taking them all the same. He plopped himself on the other end of the table as he ate, not really having anywhere else to go. The darkness around him only deepened in the silence, but he found he didn’t mind it that much; it may feel a little uncomfortable, but it was quiet and predictable, things it faithfully was, things the rest of his situation did not feature so heavily.

Thoughts of fear and betrayal flurried in his head again, determined to fill his well earned silence with their yelling.

What did he do next? He would stay and help these people most probably, but Riku’s cautious voice echoed back to him. He wanted to, but did he? Was it an option? It’s not like he could ask without letting them know something had happened, without letting Namine know he doubted her, little as it was, and he couldn’t bear that.

Either way, Xemnas was a threat to everyone, not just to the people here, to any nobodies anywhere. But was that even true? If he had been lied to about one thing why not everything else alongside it. He still refused that thought with any resolve he could muster.

He felt like he was stuck but time kept moving around him, restless and aimless and wishing for someone to just give it to him straight. He sighed and shoved the food in his mouth, leaning his elbows on his knees, letting the shadows wash over his back.

_ Truth. _

A whisper.

He blinked in surprise, looking around for someone to have spoken, but no one was there.

_ Find your truth. _

Again he heard it, but not from the outside. It was in his head. That was worrisome. 

_ I’m trying. _ He thought back.

A few seconds passed and he heard nothing more, reassured that the voice had been an imagining. Maybe he should get out of the darkness; calming as it was, it sometimes played tricks he wasn’t in the mood for tonight. He took a corridor to his room, surprised at the warmth that greeted him there. 

Namine was sitting on the couch drawing, a crackling fire sitting ahead of her. She turned at his arrival and gave him a tired smile. Any doubts he had were silenced, at least for the moment, basking in familiarity and perceived safety.

“Hi.” she said softly.

“Hey. How’d the meeting go? It took a long time.”

She wilted slightly, rubbing at her wrist. 

“It was fairly boring, but I’ve got to hurry up with your memories, they’re thinking of going to Xemas earlier than we had originally planned.”

Sora smiled, taking up a seat next to her, leaning on her shoulder to see what she was working on; a sea of lush green trees. ...Deep Jungle? It was spotty, but he had bits and pieces. It was so relieving to be able to remember things, even if they were small like names. Not long ago he had found he could remember Traverse Town, and he was more excited than ever to see the rest of his memories, like a movie he was waiting to see the end of. He couldn’t thank her enough for this.

The voice called again weakly, but he didn’t hear it.

“Oh, well, that's good, right? Once we deal with him we can go home!”

She perked up ever so slightly. 

“I guess you’re right there, I just feel kinda bad sending you off somewhere with incomplete memories, you won’t be as strong as you could be; it might be dangerous.”

“I can take him, don’t worry; plus I’ll have Larxene and Marluxia and Axel helping me out, I’m sure we’ll do fine.”

“I suppose you’re right. Still, I’m nervous.”

She let her drawing fall into her lap, putting her arm around him as he laid against her.

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I won’t.”

She hummed in response, vague on what it conveyed.

They sat and watched the flames for a while, both relieved at the other's presence. It gave Sora an idea.

“Hey, why don’t we hang out somewhere again?”

She looked down at him, a little perplexed.

“But we aren’t allowed to, remember? Last time we nearly got caught.”

“Yeah I know, I didn’t mean like that; just around this world.”

“There are heartless though, and you aren’t supposed to get rid of them.”

“We could find somewhere, on one of those crystally mountains or something.”

Whatever argument she had been planning on voicing died in her throat, a small affectionate laugh replacing it. 

“You know what, yeah. It’s a date.”

He told himself the heat on his cheeks was from the fire. He laid back further into the cushions, once again feeling his tiredness starting to overtake him in his comfort.

“I’ll look around tomorrow at lunch then, I’ll make sure it’s a good spot.” He murmured. 

“Sounds good, I’m looking forward to it.”

She grinned and squeezed him in a brief hug before slowly drawing herself away, much to his dismay. She picked up her sketchpad and pencils, sticking them back in her book bag before she stood up and slung it over her shoulder.

“I’m glad I got to see you, but I’m really tired, I’m gonna head to bed.”

“Oh ok then.” He grumbled goodnaturedly.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” She said, before vanishing into a corridor.

He sighed contentedly and curled up on his side. He missed her already, that had been just what he needed; he couldn’t hear screaming thoughts with her around. He was already so comfortable, he almost ended up passing out on the couch. It was only when the wind whistled particularly shrilly that he made himself get into his bedroll; knowing how cold he’d be in the morning without the thick blankets. He sleepily threw his coat off his shoulders, and lazily cast esuna over himself to freshen up before peeling the covers open. 

Before he could burrow inside however, something caught his eye; a bright yellow star.

Sitting in the middle of his bedroll was Namine’s good luck charm. He was a little weirded out, he always kept that on him, but he reasoned it must’ve fallen out of his pocket while he was sleeping last night. He picked it up and ran his fingers along the edges, smiling fondly before dropping it back into his pocket for safekeeping.

It clinked loudly against something.

Confused, he reached down to get whatever it had hit, only finding the charm. Or… wait, what? He grabbed the items out, and his eyes widened. There were two charms, identical in every way. Wasn’t the charm one of a kind? Where would another even come from? Was he really that tired?

A portal whooshed softly in the corner to his left, and he turned to see Riku creep out, eyes flitting back and forth cautiously. Once he was sure he was in the clear, he met Sora’s gaze in that strange smug and scared way that only he did.

“This is where you stay, right?” He whispered.

“Yeah this is my room. Did you find a place to hide?”

“I’m not going into that right now, I don’t have a lot of time.”

Riku pointed to the charms clasped in his grip.

“So you found that; good. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it earlier; it’s tangible proof that Namine lies to you.”

Anxiety pooled in Sora’s gut, the hazy comfort slipping through his fingers before he could stop it. He wouldn’t voice it in front of such an unstable friend, but the fact that he’d ripped away what he’d looked for all day, he couldn’t help but be angry. He stuffed the frustration down before he looked him in the eyes.

“Huh? How?”

“It’s her good luck charm, one of a kind, made just for you, right?”

Sora nodded tentatively.

“Well I have one too, with the exact same story tied to it. A meteor shower, you promised to keep her safe, your most important promise. Only difference was that it was me instead of you when I saw it.”

“What? How do you know that? I know I was there with her, the islands were the first things I remembered!” He asked, incredulous.

Riku laughed bitterly.

“You know? We had this exact same conversation at Castle Oblivion, back when I was still all messed up, and you said the exact same things.”

That only made him more confused.

“Wh-!? No! I didn't forget anything that happened at the castle, only from beforehand! I’ve never met you before.”

He ignored the image of his drawing flashing into his head, the boy he drew but didn’t know, shoving the thought as deep as he could. The anger was peeking through, boiling up, and he didn’t have the heart to stop it. Why couldn’t he just leave him alone? Why was he so goddamn familiar? Why couldn’t it all just  _ stop _ .

Riku’s amusement faded into annoyance.

“Are you trying to make this more difficult? It’s pretty obvious what happened, I gave you all the evidence you should need, stop denying it.”

“No! I don’t even know you- you tried to kill me! I don’t have to believe you!” He snapped.

That set something off, the something that made Riku’s eyes go manic, wild with so many emotions he couldn’t begin to understand.

“Yes you do! Not only for your sake, my neck is on the line too as long as these people have power! Don’t you get it? I’m evidence that they’re traitors to the organization; they killed their supposed allies, I saw it. Once they find out that I know what I do, they’ll destroy me without a second thought! I’ll never get to be a person!”

There was that fear, that pure terror that broke Sora’s heart for reasons he couldn’t comprehend. His anger wilted.

“I-I know! I want to help you, but I can’t just-”

“Yes you can, you have to! There isn’t any way to play both sides of this, you have to choose, and if you don’t choose me…”

He didn’t need to finish. There were tears brimming in Riku’s eyes again, despair and anger that he needed to fix, why did he need to fix it so bad?

A sudden sharp pang in his chest made him yelp, it made his knees buckle. It passed as quickly as it had come, and he scrambled back to his feet to try and win whatever was left of the argument, but he found Riku was staring straight through him like nothing had happened at all.

It was frankly a little disturbing to see him so still, especially when a second ago things had gotten so heated. He didn’t even look like he was breathing, so Sora was relieved when he finally blinked, taking a slow breath in. 

“Riku?” He asked.

He winced, tensing his shoulders.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Where are you? What happened?” He slurred.

“Huh? We’re in my room, we have been this whole time, don’t you rememb-”

His eyes were unfocused, it looked like he was half asleep. Horror dawned on Sora as he realized; had he just forgotten? Was Namine here? He whirled around, expecting to see someone come to catch him red handed. Had Riku been right about everything? Was he stuck here forever? The thoughts poured into his head like a tsunami, violent after being pent up and ignored. 

“Is… is this a memory thing?” He asked, but it only came out as a whisper. He doubted he’d be given any kind of useful response if the answer was yes.

His foggy eyes fixed on Sora’s, and something like grief crossed his features. He weakly held out his hand, not reaching quite far enough to touch him.

“I’m sorry.”

With those words he fell slack again, still standing but otherwise unconscious. The calm only lasted so long though, as Riku once again stirred, jumping back in alarm as soon as he was aware.

“What did you do!?” He cried, looking around the room in a panic, neck cracking. His sword materialised in his hand, sharp and wicked. Sora backed away, raising his hands placatingly.

“N-nothing! I don’t know what happened, you just started getting all weird, you passed out or something!”

His eyes were wide and wild, and he stepped further back as a portal devoured him where he stood without a word, leaving the once warm room in eerie silence.

Sora didn’t know how long he stood there for, when he fell over and fell asleep, all he knew was that morning came too soon; and that he had no plan on how to face it after what he had seen.


	26. Inklings

The days stretched on, but curiosity had it’s way of worming its way into his heart, the longing to  _ know _ driving him to tolerate what he never would otherwise. It was a flaw, he had long established that, but it wasn’t like there was any other way he could call staying here his choice.

Riku sat back in a chair like one that dental patients would sit in, propped up on sterile cushions that no one would call comfortable on their nature alone. Diz worked ahead of him, typing away at huge arrays of buttons under bright blue screens, displaying constantly changing images; himself, hearts, huge blocks of text and numbers, and most frequently was Sora.

While he was unconscious for most of the analysis that was being done on his memories, his face was always there to greet him when he woke up. It was never smiling, that was something of note to him. It seemed wrong somehow to see his face so vacant, but it was only a data creation that was barely there to begin with, Diz’s frustrated grumblings had made that more than clear. He hoped someday he would see him for real again, see him smile like he somehow knew he was meant to.

“Down.” Diz barked, his only warning before he was put to sleep again, feeling a sharp pulse and then falling deep down into his heart.

Doing this wasn’t so bad compared to the rest of the experience; for the most part it was calm and he could just rest, but occasionally an unwanted visitor would show up to bother him. The memories fluttered up around him, wispy and blurry, as Ansem’s heart station appeared a little ways from his own.

His stained glass shone, tinting everything a bruise-like purple, Ansems hardly cast any glow at all, much more content to leech darkness off into the surrounding abyss. He was glad, almost proud to see the distance growing between them; once they had touched so closely he hadn’t been able to see who was who, but no longer.

Ansem stepped to the edge of his platform, scowling.

“You insist on coming here so often, and yet you still deny the darkness that so plainly owns you.” He boomed, calling across the void.

Riku debated ignoring him like he had been, finding satisfaction in demonstrating how little control he held over him, but today he felt like responding a little, if only to gloat.

“I think you have it backwards, you’re the one stuck in here. I’m only visiting.”

“My presence is proof you failed, that darkness personified has a home within you. You use my power every day, you rely on me. Your giving in will only be a matter of time.”

He rolled his eyes, deliberately facing away. His powers were dark, but they were his, not Ansems. As much as he claimed dominion over all things dark, he knew better. Everyone had it save for the princesses, their own to use or suppress or do whatever with. Maybe it wasn’t a fully benevolent power he used, but lying to a kid barely spit out of his world was easier than lying to one who shared your heart.

Riku willed himself deeper into his heart, where Ansems ramblings were nothing more than blurry feelings. He slept there for a while, or at least, he thought it was sleeping, but he could never be exactly sure for how long. When he went that far in the memories would play like disjointed movies, cutting in and out so he couldn’t understand them as Diz drew them up from the depths. He liked guessing about them, hard as it was to glean anything cohesive from it. It was the closest he could get to home for now, to Kairi, and to Sora as well he supposed, both of their faces popped up a lot, and it made him happy.

He was woken abruptly with a call of “Up.”, floating back to the waking world in a dazed pull.

He blinked and found himself back in the basement lab, Diz still working away at the computers. He didn’t look up as he continued speaking.

“I’m done with you for now. In ten minutes time I need Goofy in here.”

Riku didn’t respond, he didn’t want or need to talk to him, walking sleepily back up into the library and into the main room where the others were relaxing on dusty furniture.

“Goofy, you’re up next.” He called, as they all looked up at him.

“Alright then, see you guys later.” He waved cheerfully, passing him to make it back up the stairs.

Riku settled at the table, trying to blink away any residual drowsiness.

“Is it just me, or is sleeping all the time making us more tired than when we were working?”

Mickey laughed quietly.

“Certainly would seem that way, huh? You guys all seem a lot happier with it though.” He gave them a look, one they were growing more familiar with as their days here went on, one of concern, asking tentative permission.

“You’re sure you want to stay though? Regardless of what Diz says, you don’t have to.”

Riku shook his head, adamant.

“No, no, it’s different now, at least for me. There’s someone who needs our help.” 

The guilt panged at him suddenly.

“Besides, I don’t think home would feel quite the same if I’ve forgotten all about one of my friends.”

Seeing home would already be too much to bear, adding to that shame was unimaginable, especially because he had a sneaking suspicion that it was his fault they had all gotten separated in the first place. His memories blurred at the edges, sure, but the feelings he had felt were clear as day; watching the darkness devour his home had felt  _ right _ somehow when he pictured it, and he had to make up for that before he would consider actually going back, it was only fair. If Sora had gotten lost out in the worlds, completely forgotten, that was on him to fix. He hoped Kairi wouldn’t miss him too badly in the meantime, both of them.

He heard the ghost of a laugh from Ansem, and forced himself to focus on the scuffed floorboards instead.

“I still don’t like the fact that he was lying to us, just waiting to see if we’d remember things. I don’t trust him.” Donald said, eyes narrowed, but his expression softened as he continued, if only a little.

“You’re right though. If Diz will help us remember Sora, we have to stay. I may not remember much, but I miss him still.”

The confusing sorrow was familiar, frustratingly intangible for something that ached so bad, it passed in waves, each of them letting it wash over them in silence before speaking again; solidarity that didn’t need to be spoken.

“We shouldn’t trust him, even if he is helping; you both saw how he looked when he talked about Sora. He wants him for something bad, I just know it.” Riku affirmed.

The others nodded, Donald more fervently than Mickey. The king still wanted to trust the strange and suspicious man, his nostalgia begged it, but in the end he wasn’t a fool.

“I almost feel bad using him.” He joked weakly.

Donald scoffed.

“He started it. Not like he wouldn’t have some plan about that too though, we’ve gotta be ready for anything.”

“Agreed.”

Again it was quiet, too many thoughts and fears to chase around, but awkward as it was, they stuck together in that room. They were each other’s rocks in a very deep river, sticking together for some stability in this mess.

Riku smirked slightly in the silence, his thoughts drifting to Sora as they often did nowadays. He wondered if it was a side effect of trying to remember him, or if he had always thought of him this much. He imagined speaking to this boy he could barely remember, after everything, fond taunts springing to mind as naturally as breathing.

_ Bet you’re off somewhere, messing around, no clue how hard we’re looking. I think it’s telling that most of the memories I have of you so far have you sleeping or being an idiot in them. That’s okay though, when I do find you, you won’t hear the end of it, have your fun while you can. _

The thoughts turned bittersweet.

_ Not too much though, gotta save some of that for me and Kairi when we get home, okay? _

He could imagine the playfully annoyed nod, a response.

The silence stretched on, just like the days did, but now he had a purpose, one he wouldn’t let go of to something as simple as weariness.


	27. Spilling Over

Time.

He needed time and he didn’t know how to get it, and thinking about it was only wasting more, and more, and more-

Sora was spiralling, plummeting into a panic, curled in the thick blankets of his bedroll.

He had no one, that had been the first realization. Trusting anyone here with what he knew, asking them about what he didn’t, it could all end in disaster if Riku’s warnings were true; and it was starting to seem more and more like they were. Not even Namine, Namine his friend, Namine the liar. He let out a sob.

He hated considering it, but the voice was  _ loud _ , insistent, incessant.

“ _ Two charms, two lies. Memories stolen right out from under you. Run Sora, run, it’s your only chance.” _

_ “Please stop…”  _ He begged it. He didn’t have the will to even be concerned about holding conversations with a voice in his head, there was just  _ too much _ .

_ “You are not safe. Find your truth. _ ” It urged, like it hadn’t heard him.

The sun was rising, staining the room in a washed out gold. He was running out of time, someone would come for him soon. He clutched the Kingdom Key tightly, almost embracing it under the sweaty wool. It had been in his hand when he woke up, and he wasn’t going to dismiss it now, not when it was the only thing he could be sure of anymore. Sparks fluttered off its tip, fizzling briefly in the air before flickering out in response to the turbulence in his heart.

Try as he might, as the minutes dragged on, as the shadows got shorter and shorter, he couldn’t bring himself to leave the bedroll. It felt like the small bundled space he was taking up was at least his own, at least for now, and giving that up to go out into the unknown would be like pulling teeth.

_ “Be brave, you are strong. You have faced trials like these before and won, and even though you don’t remember, these feats are still yours. Run.” _

_ “How? Where?”  _ He asks weakly.

_ “Anywhere, anyway.” _

He almost manages to do it, to scrounge up enough bravery- or maybe it was fear, to get himself to move. Almost. A dark portal opens aggressively across from him, Larxene emerging.

Time was up.

“Are you still sleeping? I’ve been waiting like half an hour! Let’s move!”

Something was wrong with him today, he had figured out the moment he had opened his eyes, but with another person here he realized it was making it very difficult to speak, to hear her even, like it was all far away. His stomach hurt.

“I can see your eyes open, I know you’re awake.”

He managed to let out something like a whine. Why couldn’t he move? His stomach hurt.

“Um excuse me? It wasn’t a request; get up!”

She came over and kicked him sharply in the side.

He rolled, and promptly vomited bile on the rug.

His stomach hurt, clenching with nausea.

“Oh my fucking-! Really?” Larxene yelped, corridor forming around her.

Sora stared at the mess, dumbfounded. Had he just…? Why? Why was any of this happening? Tears welled hotly in his eyes, but he didn’t even process them. He just wanted things to make sense, he wanted to go back to before, back  _ home _ . Weeks of frustration and homesickness fell over him like waves, drifting him further out into this sea of anxiety he was drowning in. Everything was wrong and he couldn’t fix it, he had nothing and no one to help him, no way forward or back, just down down down-

However this, like most other things he thought, was a lie. He did have a friend, one who was very good at fixing things.

Namine winced as she saw the sleep spell take effect on Sora, his wide glassy eyes falling closed as he collapsed dangerously close to the puddle he had made on the floor. She was at his side instantly, pulling him to lay on her lap and peeling the soaked blankets off of him, trying to get a read on what could have gotten him so distressed.

Larxene tapped her foot impatiently, huffing as the remains of their portals faded behind them.

“What’s wrong with him? Is he sick? I am  _ not  _ getting barfed on during sparring.”

“I… I’m not sure. He doesn’t seem injured, did you see anything?”

“No, just him whining and then making a mess and crying. You really should get your boy toy under control.”

Namine’s soft doting tone dropped as she stared at the other woman, fear for her own well being forgotten behind anger as she dragged Sora’s limp body up into a sitting position.

“This is  _ not _ the time. Help me move him.”

Larxene just laughed.

“Or what? You’re a child, I could kill you right now and you couldn’t put a dent on me, you can’t threaten me.”

Namine stiffened, steeling her gaze.

“Go ahead then, do it. We both know you aren’t running this, he is. Now fucking help me before something happens, and we’re all punished.”

Larxene shut up.

She slung Sora roughly over her shoulder, and they took him quickly to Namine’s bedroom, since her room had an actual bed rather than couches or chairs. Namine got to work quickly, casting cure and esuna as much as she could, and generally prodding around to see what was wrong, but she found nothing. Larxene was not in a talkative mood, and took her leave almost immediately without so much as a glance, but it hardly mattered anyway, the last thing she would offer is help.

He had been crying she had said? That was worrying, but then again it didn’t take a whole lot to make Sora cry, she had seen enough memories of that.

That thought froze her.

Memories are something she should check, but doing so might confirm that she had done something wrong, that she had hurt him. His chest rose and fell slowly, his face was calm, and the warmth in her clenched into a tight ball. She didn’t want to be the one to have hurt him.

Wincing, she took his hand in hers, pressing her thumb into his pulse. There wasn’t time to think about that, if something was wrong she had to fix it. She launched herself into his heart, diving down into the void, both desperate and apprehensive to see what she could find.

Guilt was a strange feeling for Namine, a slow burn that would sit low in her stomach, like fear but somehow worse. She didn’t like guilt, because she couldn’t quell it without doing things she really didn’t want to. Such a frustrating emotion.

She floated gently down onto the stained glass, gazing out into the sea of ghostly coloured strings. 

They weren’t the problem this time, she noted; they were all looking about the same as they had before, only some were slightly more transparent now, as she had expected. A gentle withering of the bonds, rather than cutting them away. Her own strand was glowing brightly, contrasting in it’s opaqueness, and she allowed herself a smile at the sight. At least nothing as serious as before was wrong, or- well, at least here.

She leapt deftly from the side of the stained glass platform, falling softly into the darkness. Here was where she first felt something off, and the guilt bubbled uncomfortably. She held her hands out, and all around her white chains lit up, curled and coiled on the floor of this place, tangled around a sleeping boy on his knees. Right where she left him.

The keyhole was still open, all its secrets spilled, quiet in it’s hidden little corner.

Looking around, everything seemed to be normal, but it wasn’t, she could feel it. Every other time she had been down here the air had felt almost silent; only Sora and herself disturbing it, but now there was a feeling of intrusion, that she had somehow interrupted something, but nothing should be happening.

She listened closer, straining her ears, willing his heart to open fully to her once more. The chains shone like each link was a small sun, scouring for the answer, the intrusion, the Truth.

Truth hissed, knit together with fading strings and darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I completely fell off this lol, and I'm really sorry. I don't know how consistent updates are gonna be, but I want to finish this at some point.


End file.
